How It Feels

I hate it. Most of the time I'm okay. Then I get so desperate, trapped feeling. Over nothing. If some incident happens (kids arguing, making messes, not cleaning up, etc) I become agitated. So much that I have no idea how to even deal with it. Not every time but if I'm having a rough day especially. 

The man lost some employees and so he's not been able to be home much. I was really liking him being home during the day. I had a hard time dealing when all that happened. I feel badly about how much of a drain I am to him. He's been really patient though. I'm so thankful for him. 

I've been doing the progesterone cream twice a day. Morning and evening. Not doubling the dose but just spreading it out. That seems to be better... Except when I forget like yesterday morning. 

This morning I added one capsule of St. John's Wart. I'm gonna do that twice a day and we'll see what that does. 

I've been trying to get outside more. Pulling weeds, taking walks, stuff like that. The pulling weeds really is relaxing. :) we went on a guided hike at the canyon Friday. It would have been much nicer if the kids hadn't been complaining.  They didn't like having to stay with the group. We did learn some new things. It was something different that what we normally do when we go. The kids are used to being able to go ahead at their own pace. 

I'm hoping I'll get to take some of the kids to the full moon hike on Tuesday evening. 

My attempt at a yoga class didn't go so well. Poor Oliver screamed his head off in the nursery. I felt awful. I enjoyed the part of the class I was there for so I hope I can do something to get him accustomed to staying in there. I do have a prenatal yoga DVD, I suppose I could try that. Maybe early in the morning before the kids are up. 

So far I'm doing pretty well without the meds. I've not gotten in touch with a counselor yet. The first one the doc referred me to never called back and I've not called the next one the doc recommended. 

:)