I've a feeling of déjà vu

I am quite shocked. Oliver is only 10 mos old. We weren't being careful because, well because the baby wasn't even a year yet and I've never worried about being careful before a year. So here we are again and I'm even more convinced that it is wicked lies that a woman's fertility declines with age. 

Sara (5 yrs old) is over the moon excited. She's been asking for a girl baby since the day Oliver was born. All I've got to say is that this baby had better be a girl. 

You know what makes me sad?

Women who are glad that doctors abuse them.
Yesterday on a ddg a woman posted about how she'd gone in for an appt at 38w4d and the OB checked her and she was 1cm and then the doc forcefully opened her to 2. It hurt and she bled and yet she was glad he'd done it. :( 

Then another woman in for her 37 wk appt and the OB stripped her membranes breaking her water. She ends up with a cord prolapse and emergency c/s and she is just so grateful that the OB saved her baby's life.
SMH

It is becoming hard to read posts in the birth boards because I know the information women are being given by their doctors is wrong or at the very least misleading. They have been groomed from early in their pregnancy to expect the worst and the OB then has them so afraid it is all too easy to convince them to submit to unnecessary, unwarranted procedures. Dangerous things like induction or a cesarean for not reason.

The women are happy to submit to this abuse. It makes me fear for what the birth culture will be when my girls begin having babies. I'm doing my best to educate them and teach them to question everything but the indoctrination is so pervasive. Women so easily accept the excuses and the false claims of fetal problems.

Is it just me, or is there an epidemic of preeclampsia? And don't get me started on the "your baby will be too big for you to birth vaginally so we need to induce or section you". I'm so disheartened reading the posts on the mainstream birth boards. I know there are communities online of women who do know better, but the vast majority do not. Are those of us in the movement to promote natural birth deceiving ourselves that things are changing for the better because we have the internet and so we 'know' all these other women who believe the way we do? Or is the change real?

Loooooong Labor

I've been laboring for over two weeks.

I know what you're thinking. "Labor doesn't last two weeks." Or "It's just false labor"

Well, I'm here to tell you that you are wrong. I can most certainly tell the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and the real deal. This is the real deal.

Progress has been slow. If you read this blog at all you know I don't do cervical checks but I've used other dilation assessments. I know the number won't tell me a whole lot but it does tell me that I'm not insane and that this is indeed labor and work is being done.

I'm trying to just go with it. To relax and let things happen as they will. Babe is well. I am well. There is no need to rush things since my EDD is not until the 27 th

I've had moments of discouragement. Times I felt something more should be happening. Wondering why I couldn't just get into a nice predictable labor pattern.

I had a nice talk with my midwife last night. *Sidenote: midwives are so much better than OBs. What OB would come and sit and talk with a patient for over an hour? And then offer to help with housework? * After she'd listened to what was on my mind she said, "Well, now I know why we don't have a baby yet.".

I'm worried about some things. Finances, my husband not being here due to work, the state of my house, etc. some of that I cannot do anything about so I'm just going to have to give those burdens to Jesus. The midwife offered to come help me get some of the housework I want done. My kids have done a good job of getting the basic day to day stuff done. It is the stuff that does not get done daily, that I've been unable to do or really oversee its accomplishment that is bothering me.

I talked with my husband last night too. He is really an awesome hubby and I do not want anyone to think that I do not appreciate him. He's been wonderful when I've had to stay in bed these last two months. He's done an amazing job making sure we all have the things we need each day. I must admit he's a better homemaker than me. LOL his only fault is being a bit of a joker. When I'm serious he makes jokes. So his joking about it not being a good time to have a baby has me on edge. He'll be here when babe comes, I know that, but I have been stressing thinking that he wouldn't be.

So, hopefully now that I've gotten those things off my chest and with some help to get the house the way I want it and the man has promised no more teasing, I will relax enough and babe will come.

38 weeks

Wow! I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. :)

Taken yesterday

 Birth kit came Saturday

 Clothes I bought at the discount corner of my favorite consignment shop for $9

 Cloth diapers I bought from a friend for $30!!

 Booties the same friend gave me. It'll be a shame if I don't have a girl! :P

31 weeks

Wow! How time has flown. Not long now before we'll be welcoming a new member to our family.

The kids and I began "Project Get Ready For Baby" this week. I plan to deep clean every room in the house and to get some sewing/crocheting done before babe arrives. We should be able to get to the kitchen twice. We didn't do much yesterday, it was lovely outside so we cleaned up the back yard. On Tuesday we did some work in the kitchen and repaired the net on the trampoline. Today I will try to finish the Mei Tai wrap I am working on. Hopefully I'll be able to get some material in the next couple of weeks to make a ring sling and a couple K'tan type wraps.

Busy two months ahead!

After the babe comes I plan on taking a nice, long six week 'babymoon'. :) I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to stay home and get to know my new baby. I do plan on having a kind of "meet and greet" a couple weeks after babe arrives so friends can come see the babe. :)

Now to get busy!

Patience

It is absolutely vital in pregnancy. Especially at the end.

By 36 wks most women are pretty miserable, what with the constant need to pee, restlessness, swollen feet, baby who insists on putting his feet in mom's ribs or using mom's bladder as a punching bag, indigestion... you get the idea. It is about that time that many women begin to inquire about what they can do to 'get ready' so they don't go past their due date. Most OBs will begin weekly cervical exams to assess a woman's readiness and progress. Women will be gloriously happy when at 37 weeks the OB tells them that they are 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Only to be disappointed when they still haven't had a baby at 41 weeks. Or they will be horribly depressed and fearful if at 39 weeks they are informed their cervix is still long and tight. So the quest to bring on labor begins.

Other women will tell of how they had sex twice a day, used castor oil, drank wine, did nipple stimulation, and so many other things that are purported to get a woman's body to kick labor into high gear. They will anxiously time those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions and perhaps make a trip (or two or three) to the hospital for them hoping to be told they are truly in labor. Dejected they go home and scour the internet for ways to make their body do what it obviously isn't ready for yet.

There are so many things wrong with this mentality.

1. The EDD is an estimate. It is a guess. Even if a woman had an ultrasound, it is still just a guess. The EDD could be off by two weeks. Attempting to have a baby before that magical date could lead to serious complications for the baby. Also, the due date is calculated with the knowledge that only a small number of women deliver on that day. Any time from two weeks before or two weeks after that date is perfectly normal. This is why inductions for 'post dates' or for convenience because babe is considered 'term' are not advisable. Even the ACOG admits this. If there is not a sound medical reason (NO! that doesn't include a baby 'too big', low fluid, or placental calcification, or any number of excuses OBs will offer) an induction is not the right choice.

2. Cervical checks tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will come, even if you are in labor. These are utterly pointless and invasive. I repeat: A cervical check to determine dilation or effacement tells you NOTHING of value. It is a tool used by practitioners to cause fear and instill doubt in a woman's mind about her body's ability to birth.

3. Every baby is different. Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every birth is unique. We are so very prone to fall victim to the desire for 'normalcy'. There really isn't such a thing in birth. Just because your cousin's best friend's sister had her baby at 36 weeks and everything was fine doesn't mean it is a good thing for your baby. Babies come when the time is right. Stress and anxiety can complicate the process and perhaps delay or stop a labor that otherwise would have proceeded normally.

4. Labor does not have a defined beginning that continues uninterrupted until birth. Natural, physiological labor can start and stop. It is a process that can take weeks. A "stalled" labor is quite often just a tired body. Mama needs rest, not to be pushed beyond the limits her body can withstand with drugs or other stimulation. She needs to sleep, or eat, or a massage.

5. Any interference in the birth process carries risks. Even those 'natural' methods. A woman's body, with rare exceptions, knows how and will birth just fine. Messing with this process in any way can have serious consequences. Breaking the water is, IMO, one of the worst interventions that are routinely done even by midwives.

Just wait. Be patient. Your body knows what to do. Stop trying to make things happen and just let them happen. Relax and enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy. They don't last forever and before long you'll be wishing for them again. Trust that God's design is perfect. He planned for everything in creating a woman's body. You are made for this. It took me six births to learn this. I hope that other women are quicker studies than me!

Why I Birth At Home

or "Ignorant Obstetrician Alert"
Read this article.

Now, tell me how that made you feel? If you are like me, it made you hair pulling mad!

I could rant about nearly every sentence in that article. I won't rant about that much in this blog post, well at least I'll try not to.

"Not fear of childbirth, despite the fact that is is inherently dangerous..."

Childbirth is NOT inherently dangerous. Yes, there are things that can go wrong, but a knowledgeable woman who knows her body and herself or a good care provider will know when a woman needs care. The idea this OB has comes from her education. An education that stresses and highlights the dangers without the knowledge about how birth happens in the absence of 'management'.

"evidently only losers, the weak and the unempowered, fear pain"

No. No one likes pain and, yes, we even fear it. Pain does not have to be part of labor, not always. NCB advocates do not think women are 'weak' for needing pain relief or fearing pain. We just know that the risks often outweigh the benefits. Simple risk/benefit analysis.

" who is going to buy the services of someone who hectors you to avoid pain relief when you are in agonizing pain (a doula)"

Obviously, this OB has no idea what a doula actually does. And it is likely that the 'agonizing pain' is due to AROM or pitocin or being forced to lay in bed instead of moving around as a woman will when in labor if left alone.

"And who is going to let her precious baby be delivered by a high school graduate who knows nothing about science and thinks gems have "energy" and flowers having healing "essences" (a CPM, a certified "professional" midwife)"

I don't know any midwives who believes that. And the derogatory way she uses, "high school graduate" as if a midwife gets no other education is just disgusting. My midwife is a CPM and is excellent and very knowledgeable.

"Who is going to waste hundreds of dollars on goofy ideas "

I've had three home births and not spent a dime on any 'goofy ideas'.

"Craig Thompson, professor of marketing at University of Wisconsin wrote about this tactic in Consumer Risk Perceptions in a Community of Reflexive Doubt the in the September 2005
Journal of Consumer Research... "Advocates of natural childbirth seek to inculcate reflexive doubt by countering two common sense objections to their unorthodox construction of risk: (1) medicalized births would have never gained a cultural foothold if they were so risk laden and (2) the medical profession would not support obstetric practices that place laboring women at risk"

Medicalized birth gained a foothold by powerful and expensive lobbies to outlaw midwifery and promote medical licensure. Ever heard of the damage caused by the routine x-rays of pregnant women? Scopolomine? Thalidomide? Dorsal lithotomy? Routine episiotomy? Constant fetal monitoring? Mr. Thompson is obviously glaringly ignorant of obstetrical history, but then, he is only a marketing professor.

" That's why it is absolutely imperative for natural childbirth advocates to hid the fact that in the 100 years after its advent, modern obstetrics dropped the neonatal mortality rate 90% and the maternal mortality rate 99%."

And even so the US has just about the highest infant and maternal mortality and morbidity rates in the industrialized world! What an accomplishment! What sets us apart from those countries with better birth outcomes? Numbers of midwives.

OBs can't even claim responsibility for much of the decrease in mortality. Antibiotics have had an enormous impact. So have other technological advances that are not attributable to OBs.

"such as forceps deliveries—as unnecessary intrusions whose primary function was enabling physicians to display technical skill."

Forceps deliveries would be much less necessary if OBs did not require women to birth lying on their backs. I will acknowledge that there are time when they could be necessary, but not always necessary as was purported by some OBs.

"The message, integral to natural childbirth advocacy is clear: Obstetricians can't help women because their technology is useless (except in the rarest of circumstances)."

I don't know of any NCB advocate that would say OBs are useless. We all know that things can, and sometimes do, go wrong and we are thankful that there are those that are able to help in those instances.

"You need to buy books and visit websites"

I've bought very few books and while I do visit a good many websites, that is free.

"And for the truly committed, you need to pay a high school graduate who is "trained" in normal birth (kind of like a meteorologist who is trained in forecasting only good weather) to do basically nothing except call 911 and disappear if things go wrong."

The insane hegemony is getting tiresome. This OB has no idea how midwives are trained. If a woman has to go to the hospital the midwife will go with her.

"NCB advocates must convince you to spend tens of dollars on books, hundreds of dollars on classes, and thousands of dollars for the company of women who are incapable of doing a blessed thing if complications occur."

Again, I don't spend much on books, and in any case, no one convinced me to buy them. I wanted them so I bought them. I don't spend anything on classes. And my midwife is very capable in the event of complications.

"They must fill women with misinformation about childbirth and keep those same women ignorant of what science actually shows. "

I love it! Obstetrics, the profession that uses evidence based methods less that any other I am aware of, saying the the NCB community is misinforming women! What a joke!

"NCB advocates must create an alternative universe entirely unmoored from the reality of childbirth dangers, unmoored from scientific evidence,"

Yes, because there is so much evidence for constant fetal monitoring, excessive use of ultrasound, the use of pitocin and epidural and those interventions have been thoroughly researched. Ma'am, you are ignorant about NCB and its advocates.

" or pay thousands of dollars for what are essentially lay companions with no particular knowledge of childbirth"

Your pedantic hegemony is nauseating. Really.

"When it comes to natural childbirth, follow the money. Without fear, NCB advocates won't make money."

Yes, follow the money. Know what you'll find? That birth in hospitals with OBs in attendance is the reason that the US spends more that any other country in the world and we still have some of the worst outcomes.

This article made me so angry and just plain sick that OBs like that can practice and influence women.

Frustration.

Contractions all day and night that seem to be getting slowly more intense and even a little longer and sometimes closer together but that stop every once in awhile. I know this happens every time, but I still find myself getting frustrated with it. It is discouraging! And everyone asking all the time doesn't help. My husband being the worst! LOL

On a happy note. My girl will be home on Friday! Yeah!! I've not heard much the last several days, no internet access where they are I guess. It will be so nice to have her back home! I look forward to hearing about everything she did and saw!

Not much else. Just trying to keep busy and get enough rest and keep the house in some sort of order!

Its Getting Close!

It is less than 4 weeks now until Kyla leaves for Zambia!! I am starting to get nervous. I can't believe I am sending my 15 yo half way around the world!! The worst part is that I won't be able to stay in touch with her very well. No talking on the phone every day or chatting on the computer. She has been working hard to prepare for this though. Monday was her last class for the Teaching Children Effectively through CEF. Now she'll go to Africa and teach little kids about Jesus! :D She had to get a bunch of shots too. She didn't like that part, but I was proud of her for being a grown up about it! :)

And it is just over 6 weeks until the baby is due. I am honestly hoping that babe will wait until July, but I am not very confident that will happen since that would mean babe being over 2 weeks overdue. We still haven't decided on names, my husband is being difficult! When did he get to be so opinionated?! LOL I have been doing some crochetting, hoping that would make me feel a little more excited. I'll have to post pics of what I've made... sometime! LOL

Ultrasound! :D

Yes, yes... I know! It has been two weeks since the u/s! What can I say? I'm just... busy! :P

Measurements say babe is due June 17. We did not find out the sex, we like being surprised!

So here are some of the pics. I love the 4D ones, but I do wish I'd asked for a few more prints of the regular ones.

Cool pregnancy ticker I found

Make a pregnancy ticker

I'm actually finally starting to really feel pregnant! :) I was mostly feeling just fat! :P Feeling the baby move a lot more. Less tired, more headaches, eating often, and trying to keep up with the house work and school with the kids. I can't believe so much time has gone by! Before I know it babe will be here! Ugh! Too much to do between now and then!

Birthing

Okay so I am pregnant again and reading about pregnancy and birth and I've had a few conversations about the subject so I thought I'd blog about it. :P

Let's start with my recommended reading list! :)

Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read- a wonderful book! Some of the medical advice is outdated (it was written in the 1930s) but he gives such a great perspective on birth!

Birth by Tina Cassidy- Not for the squeamish but a wealth of information about the history of obstetrics and midwifery and statistics on birth complications, interventions and outcomes. Every woman should read it, preferably before she has kids.

Hello Baby! by Liz Rockwell- A book to read to little kids who are expecting a sibling. Simple, factual information. And my personal favorite part is that the mom in the story breastfeeds! :)

A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson- Don't just look at the pictures! The photos are wonderful but the written information, even though he is an evolutionist, is astounding! It will make you marvel at the miraculousness of pregnancy, birth, and the human body. It truly is a wonder that a woman can even get pregnant much less carry and give birth to a baby!

I know there are others out there that are great but those are my favorites.

Now here's my disclaimer before I get to the rest:

*I know that there are times when interventions are truly necessary and that there are some women who do indeed need a doctor's care. I am glad that there are doctors who can perform c-sections when they are needed. And I am thankful that there are hospitals to provide for that care. So, if you've had to have some procedure done please do not be offended by what I will say hereafter. Do consider though if the intervention was truly warranted and be honest enough with yourself to admit if you let yourself be bullied into a bad decision.*

Some history...

I have given birth seven times. I am currently pregnant for the ninth time. I had one ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of my left fallopian tube. I've had an epidural that did not work. Two inductions. Two posterior births. Two home births. Four births with no drugs at all. One water birth. One induction was also a posterior. Water Birth was at home.

First baby was the epi that didn't work. A very poorly managed birth on all counts. Ended up a forceps delivery which has left my eldest with a very bad neck. Think I was preeclamptic that time but wasn't diagnosed because I have a very low 'normal' bp. Had a rather pompous OB who disregarded my concerns and opinions because I was so young.

Second baby was an induction. Had a great OB though and that induction was nothing like the second one. Had one dose of pain meds that time so I felt groggy after the birth.

Third baby was a good hospital birth. Same OB I had with babe #2 and she let me forgo the IV and let me do intermittent monitoring (20 minutes on 40 minutes off) and was up for me squatting during delivery-which I did not do. I wasn't up to moving around when it came time but she did remember to ask if I wanted the squat bar! Loved that OB!

Fourth baby was a home birth with a midwife. Delivered on hands and knees with that one which was perfect since we had a bit of shoulder dystocia with him. The body is amazing when you listen to it, it just knows! :)

Fifth baby was a failed unassisted home birth. Nothing was wrong except that he was posterior and hubby freaked out at the end and called 911 and we went to the hospital. He was presenting weird he had his head coned out to the left. It looked ridiculous! Really wish I had pics of that.

Sixth was an induction at the hospital. That induction was horrid! He was also posterior. That experience made me firm in my resolve to never have another baby in the hospital if I can help it!

Seventh was a water birth at home. A wonderful birth where a few of the kids were present. The three year old stayed up with me all night-baby was born at 4 am- and didn't get grouchy at all and was all love for his baby sister!

Eighth will be at home, probably a water birth again.

There is this wonderful euphoria after giving birth that women who are medicated or have epidurals completely miss out on. It is like being high, but in a good, natural way. I'd not use pain meds again unless I was having to have surgery.

I have learned that a woman's body can and will give birth in its own good time and the stress of a 'due date' is really counter productive. I have learned that labor can start and stop and even be impossibly long with no visible results for days or even weeks and then get going and you have a baby in a short time. I have learned that birth is not painful, only perceived as painful because of fear and programming.

I am saddened when I hear of women getting epidurals and having c-sections and always wonder if it was really necessary. I've watched so many "Baby Story" shows where they scare a woman into a c/s because of 'failure to progress' when she's only been in labor 8 hours and its her first baby. Or because of shoulder dystocia.Or because of a previous c/s. Or because of a breech presentation. Or because, the absolutely most ridiculous, of a posterior presentation.

These women, who allow themselves to be run through the baby mill of the hospital and don't question the procedures done, make me sad. They take the doctor's word that pitocin is safe, when it actually significantly increases the risk of complications (ie: uterine rupture, placental abruption, c/s etc.) and other interventions (that lead to still more interventions). And honestly they are not fully informed of the risks. If they were, far fewer would allow it to be done to them. I know I wouldn't have!

I say that with compassion because I too was led to do things that were not in my or the baby's best interests.

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard women say, "I could never have a home birth!" or "Give me the drugs (or at least that sentiment)". They rob themselves and demean the power that is within them! They unwittingly allow things that put themselves and their babies at risk. A woman's body is designed to give birth-barring any physiological problem of course. Contemplate the wonder of it! It is awe-inspiring!

I am not better or stronger or braver than any other woman because I choose to have home births or unmedicated births. I just know, from experience, that the natural way is far and away the better way! The rewards that come from the 'sorrow' of childbirth are beyond explanation.

I suppose I should discuss some of the reasons why interventions are considered necessary and then proceed to tear down those misconceptions! ;) I will be brief and give linkies.

Let's see...where to start. I guess I'll start with the scary ones!

Amniotic fluid embolism. That one just sounds scary! And it is. The mortality rate for it is as high as 86%. So if you get it you are most likely dead, whether you are at home or at the hospital. It is also very rare-as low as 1 in 80,000 births- and most of the risk factors are things that would only be happening at the hospital (pitocin-which doubles your risk of it, c/s, placental abruption). So I'm not worried about that one.

Placental abruption. This would require emergency care. But even at the hospital they will observe for hours before deciding if a c/s is necessary. Pitocin increases your risk for this as well. There is time to get to the hospital since there are signs that it is happening so I don't worry about this one with a home birth either.

Uterine rupture. Definitely a scary one. But again being in the hospital increases the chances of it happening, pitocin again being the culprit. This can cause massive hemorrhaging and definitely would require a surgeon. Still, the risk is small and would not affect my decision to birth at home.
Placenta Previa. This is present during pregnancy and would be diagnosed long before delivery and one would have to be in the hospital having a c/s.

Preeclampsia. Plenty of time to seek care for this one. It is largely preventable through diet.

Postpartum hemorrhage. I am considered higher risk for this but I've never had a problem-except after the first baby and that was only because of a burst blood vessel (actually more like a ripped vessel because of the forceps delivery). I nurse my babies within minutes of birth and that releases oxytocin that stimulates uterine contractions that stop the blood flow. A good midwife, and I have an excellent one, will recognize the signs and call for transport.

Preterm labor. Well...depending on how early babe is would determine my course of action there. I would probably defer to the midwife's judgement on this one. If midwife says go to the hospital I'd go. And I'm not worried. I don't have babies early.

Shoulder dystocia. Midwives are trained to deal with this and with good positioning it really isn't as scary as the OBs make it sound.

Nuchal cord. Not too big a deal a simple manoeuvre of pulling it over the baby's head or delivering babe through the loop. Don't think I've ever had that though. One did have the cord around his wrist though.

Breech presentation. Unless it is a transverse lie it is not a problem for a midwife. Midwives, unlike doctors, are taught how to deliver breech babies. And after watching videos of so many unassisted breach deliveries it really doesn't worry me at all!

Oh almost forgot one...

CPD (cranio pelvic disproportion)- really impossible if the mother has grown with proper nutrition.

I suppose I will add a blurb about the question of safety for the baby. In the hospital they use constant fetal monitoring (cfm) but that is mostly a CYB thing. There is no evidence that it helps babies have better outcomes actually the opposite is true. The ACOG (not an organization I have very much respect for in general) even admits that. For a healthy woman with a normal labor the cfm leads to more unnecessary interventions.

And what about if the baby is having problems after birth, like breathing difficulty. Midwives are trained in resuscitation and know the signs that would cause concern. There is time to get to the hospital with those things as well. With the exception of some very rare and serious congenital defects there is no reason to worry about the baby any more at home than at the hospital.

I like being at home with baby so much more. I really hated how often and for how long they would take the baby away for assessments at the hospital. I know the nurses were so ready for me to leave because I called every 10 minutes to see if they were done with the baby. The hospitals where I have the older girls were better in that respect than the hospitals here. "Rooming in" there actually meant that the baby did not leave your room at all unless there was a serious problem. Emma was under bili lights for 4 days and was in my room the whole time! Not the case here and it was very frustrating and tiring to have to walk to the nursery when Gilbert was in the hospital for jaundice.

I think that covers the problems that people are usually talking about when they ask if I am scared of something bad happening.

I wish more women would question the status quo when it comes to childbirth. Not doing so has led to some terrible abuses of power by OBs. X-rays. Scopolamine. Thalidomide. And abuses still happen under the guise of protecting babies and mothers. Consider that the US has one of the highest c/s rates in the developed world. So often there is no good reason for it. I found this lovely little tidbit on this website, "Up to 77% of women for whom the indication for cesarean delivery was a non-progressive labor (sometimes diagnosed as cephalopelvic disproportion or CPD) and who tried labor again, had a VBAC for a subsequent birth. Approximately one-third of these women gave birth to babies that were larger than their previous "CPD" baby" A non progressive labor is probably just prodromal labor or the woman is stressed and her body has stopped labor (the 'fight or flight' defense mechanism). And the best cure for that is to let mama rest and destress, have some dinner and a back rub without being prodded and monitored.

This got rather long. Oh well! :P

I love giving birth! Not so fond of those first months or last weeks of pregnancy or the sleepless nights after but I do love having babies! LOL I also love the sweetness of newborns. Their little hands and feet. The way the breastfed baby roots when he is hungry. The newborn cry is so sweet. Their first smile, laugh, and all the other firsts. I love that feeling, after the baby is born and everyone has gone away to leave me alone to get to know my new little one, the wonder and awe that I brought a life, a soul into the world! Ahhhh! Okay, now I'm ready to face the next five or six months of discomfort with pleasure at the prospect of that wonderful moment!

Baby #8 is on the way...

Not sure when I'm due...its a bit if a surprise.

Feeling nauseated, except when I'm eating!

I dread hearing the "Don't you know what causes that?" Ummmm, yeah...

Or "Another one?!" Obviously!

I feel like I have to give some explanation, some justification, for why we keep having babies...I shouldn't, but I do...

So, here it is...

1) I am morally opposed to abortion. I believe that life begins at conception, the moment sperm meets egg; therefore I cannot in good conscience use any form of hormonal birth control or the copper IUD. All hormonal birth control has the potential of allowing fertilization (conception) but preventing implantation. I could explain this further but there is an abundance of information out there about that.

2) We do not wish to have anything permanent done. You never know what might happen and there are some risks involved with those things as well.

3) Obviously I am not fastidious enough to be effective in using NFP- which is very reliable if used properly.


I am not extremely happy about this pregnancy. I am not ready for it... We are not that well off financially... Our house is too small for such a big family (ever tried to share one bathroom with 8 other people?)... My health is not that great... I really would have liked to lose all the baby weight from Sara before I got pregnant again...

On a positive note. Hubby is happy. Kids are thrilled. I know a few good midwives in town so I can have my pick. I have some very good friends who I know will pray for me.

I am sure I'll feel overjoyed before long, but right now I'm just a little...put out.