Women who are glad that doctors abuse them.
Yesterday on a ddg a woman posted about how she'd gone in for an appt at 38w4d and the OB checked her and she was 1cm and then the doc forcefully opened her to 2. It hurt and she bled and yet she was glad he'd done it. :(
Then another woman in for her 37 wk appt and the OB stripped her membranes breaking her water. She ends up with a cord prolapse and emergency c/s and she is just so grateful that the OB saved her baby's life.
SMH
It is becoming hard to read posts in the birth boards because I know the information women are being given by their doctors is wrong or at the very least misleading. They have been groomed from early in their pregnancy to expect the worst and the OB then has them so afraid it is all too easy to convince them to submit to unnecessary, unwarranted procedures. Dangerous things like induction or a cesarean for not reason.
The women are happy to submit to this abuse. It makes me fear for what the birth culture will be when my girls begin having babies. I'm doing my best to educate them and teach them to question everything but the indoctrination is so pervasive. Women so easily accept the excuses and the false claims of fetal problems.
Is it just me, or is there an epidemic of preeclampsia? And don't get me started on the "your baby will be too big for you to birth vaginally so we need to induce or section you". I'm so disheartened reading the posts on the mainstream birth boards. I know there are communities online of women who do know better, but the vast majority do not. Are those of us in the movement to promote natural birth deceiving ourselves that things are changing for the better because we have the internet and so we 'know' all these other women who believe the way we do? Or is the change real?
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Loooooong Labor
I've been laboring for over two weeks.
I know what you're thinking. "Labor doesn't last two weeks." Or "It's just false labor"
Well, I'm here to tell you that you are wrong. I can most certainly tell the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and the real deal. This is the real deal.
Progress has been slow. If you read this blog at all you know I don't do cervical checks but I've used other dilation assessments. I know the number won't tell me a whole lot but it does tell me that I'm not insane and that this is indeed labor and work is being done.
I'm trying to just go with it. To relax and let things happen as they will. Babe is well. I am well. There is no need to rush things since my EDD is not until the 27 th
I've had moments of discouragement. Times I felt something more should be happening. Wondering why I couldn't just get into a nice predictable labor pattern.
I had a nice talk with my midwife last night. *Sidenote: midwives are so much better than OBs. What OB would come and sit and talk with a patient for over an hour? And then offer to help with housework? * After she'd listened to what was on my mind she said, "Well, now I know why we don't have a baby yet.".
I'm worried about some things. Finances, my husband not being here due to work, the state of my house, etc. some of that I cannot do anything about so I'm just going to have to give those burdens to Jesus. The midwife offered to come help me get some of the housework I want done. My kids have done a good job of getting the basic day to day stuff done. It is the stuff that does not get done daily, that I've been unable to do or really oversee its accomplishment that is bothering me.
I talked with my husband last night too. He is really an awesome hubby and I do not want anyone to think that I do not appreciate him. He's been wonderful when I've had to stay in bed these last two months. He's done an amazing job making sure we all have the things we need each day. I must admit he's a better homemaker than me. LOL his only fault is being a bit of a joker. When I'm serious he makes jokes. So his joking about it not being a good time to have a baby has me on edge. He'll be here when babe comes, I know that, but I have been stressing thinking that he wouldn't be.
So, hopefully now that I've gotten those things off my chest and with some help to get the house the way I want it and the man has promised no more teasing, I will relax enough and babe will come.
I know what you're thinking. "Labor doesn't last two weeks." Or "It's just false labor"
Well, I'm here to tell you that you are wrong. I can most certainly tell the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and the real deal. This is the real deal.
Progress has been slow. If you read this blog at all you know I don't do cervical checks but I've used other dilation assessments. I know the number won't tell me a whole lot but it does tell me that I'm not insane and that this is indeed labor and work is being done.
I'm trying to just go with it. To relax and let things happen as they will. Babe is well. I am well. There is no need to rush things since my EDD is not until the 27 th
I've had moments of discouragement. Times I felt something more should be happening. Wondering why I couldn't just get into a nice predictable labor pattern.
I had a nice talk with my midwife last night. *Sidenote: midwives are so much better than OBs. What OB would come and sit and talk with a patient for over an hour? And then offer to help with housework? * After she'd listened to what was on my mind she said, "Well, now I know why we don't have a baby yet.".
I'm worried about some things. Finances, my husband not being here due to work, the state of my house, etc. some of that I cannot do anything about so I'm just going to have to give those burdens to Jesus. The midwife offered to come help me get some of the housework I want done. My kids have done a good job of getting the basic day to day stuff done. It is the stuff that does not get done daily, that I've been unable to do or really oversee its accomplishment that is bothering me.
I talked with my husband last night too. He is really an awesome hubby and I do not want anyone to think that I do not appreciate him. He's been wonderful when I've had to stay in bed these last two months. He's done an amazing job making sure we all have the things we need each day. I must admit he's a better homemaker than me. LOL his only fault is being a bit of a joker. When I'm serious he makes jokes. So his joking about it not being a good time to have a baby has me on edge. He'll be here when babe comes, I know that, but I have been stressing thinking that he wouldn't be.
So, hopefully now that I've gotten those things off my chest and with some help to get the house the way I want it and the man has promised no more teasing, I will relax enough and babe will come.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Cora's Birth- babe #3
Being an impatient person I had tried to induce labor with Castor Oil at around 38 weeks. That did nothing except make me miserable. At my 39 week OB appointment I scheduled an induction for the following week.
Thankfully, babe had better plans. I woke early on a Saturday morning to contractions. I got up and took a shower and paced around the kitchen and living room. Around 6 am I woke up my husband. We went to breakfast with a guy dh worked with, our normal Saturday routine. I ate a big breakfast and then we went and dropped the two girls off at a friend's house. I called the doula to let her know what was going on.
My husband and I went for a walk. We ended our walk at Fazoli's and had lunch and then walked home.
I was rather tired after being up for nearly 12 hours already. So I laid down and watched a movie. During that time the contractions spaced out to every 30-45 minutes. I slept off and on for a few hours. When I woke up the contractions immediately picked up to about every 3-4 minutes. We were about to leave for the hospital when my in laws showed up with the girls. Needless to say I was a bit peeved. The in laws lived next door to the friend that we'd asked to watch the girls and mother in law had decided that I wasn't really in labor and had picked the girls up and brought them home.
We loaded the girls in the car with us and headed to the hospital. Checked in and was checked. I was at 6 cm. So, I called the doula again. Dh took the girls back to our friend's house. The doula arrived while he was gone.
Dh, the doula and I went for a walk outside. The weather was absolutely beautiful, a rare thing for Florida in May. The humidity was low there was a nice light breeze, the temperature was perfect and the sky was clear.
After that things really got going. I spent some time in the shower in my room. At around 6 pm the OB and her head nurse showed up. The nurse was a bit annoying saying things like, "We could break your water and speed things up." Things were moving along just fine as far as I was concerned so I declined. The doula said to her, "Do you have a date or something? You don't need to stay." :)
Not long after the nurse left I was ready to push. The OB came in and reminded me that I had wanted to use the squat bar and asked if I wanted it. I didn't. Pushing took about half an hour. Cora came out with a head full of dark hair. That was funny because earlier while walking the halls with the doula we'd passed the nursery and there was a baby in there with lots of hair and I said, "I wish my babies would have hair. both mine have been bald." :)
Cora latched right away and nursed like a champ for 45 minutes before I let them take her to the nursery in an effort to get rid of the in laws who had showed up ten minutes after she was born disappointed they had missed the birth. Her birth was by far my best hospital birth. I had a great OB who was willing to let things progress without pressuring me and remembering my wishes.
Thankfully, babe had better plans. I woke early on a Saturday morning to contractions. I got up and took a shower and paced around the kitchen and living room. Around 6 am I woke up my husband. We went to breakfast with a guy dh worked with, our normal Saturday routine. I ate a big breakfast and then we went and dropped the two girls off at a friend's house. I called the doula to let her know what was going on.
My husband and I went for a walk. We ended our walk at Fazoli's and had lunch and then walked home.
I was rather tired after being up for nearly 12 hours already. So I laid down and watched a movie. During that time the contractions spaced out to every 30-45 minutes. I slept off and on for a few hours. When I woke up the contractions immediately picked up to about every 3-4 minutes. We were about to leave for the hospital when my in laws showed up with the girls. Needless to say I was a bit peeved. The in laws lived next door to the friend that we'd asked to watch the girls and mother in law had decided that I wasn't really in labor and had picked the girls up and brought them home.
We loaded the girls in the car with us and headed to the hospital. Checked in and was checked. I was at 6 cm. So, I called the doula again. Dh took the girls back to our friend's house. The doula arrived while he was gone.
Dh, the doula and I went for a walk outside. The weather was absolutely beautiful, a rare thing for Florida in May. The humidity was low there was a nice light breeze, the temperature was perfect and the sky was clear.
After that things really got going. I spent some time in the shower in my room. At around 6 pm the OB and her head nurse showed up. The nurse was a bit annoying saying things like, "We could break your water and speed things up." Things were moving along just fine as far as I was concerned so I declined. The doula said to her, "Do you have a date or something? You don't need to stay." :)
Not long after the nurse left I was ready to push. The OB came in and reminded me that I had wanted to use the squat bar and asked if I wanted it. I didn't. Pushing took about half an hour. Cora came out with a head full of dark hair. That was funny because earlier while walking the halls with the doula we'd passed the nursery and there was a baby in there with lots of hair and I said, "I wish my babies would have hair. both mine have been bald." :)
Cora latched right away and nursed like a champ for 45 minutes before I let them take her to the nursery in an effort to get rid of the in laws who had showed up ten minutes after she was born disappointed they had missed the birth. Her birth was by far my best hospital birth. I had a great OB who was willing to let things progress without pressuring me and remembering my wishes.
Just One Thing
If there was just one thing I could convince every pregnant woman of it would be that cervical checks during pregnancy, and even during labor, are absolutely pointless. Barring of course those who have a history of preterm labor or who are suspected of preterm labor.
Dilation will tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will arrive. A woman can sit at four or five centimeters for weeks. Or she can be closed up tight hours before birth. Having an invasive, unnecessary procedure like a vaginal exam at the end of pregnancy or in labor is not helpful.
It is not 'something cool to know' either. This knowledge is senseless, purposeless. It is a weapon the OB or medwife will use to discourage a woman and cause her to believe that her body is defective. To have an excuse for intervention. "You're 36 weeks and your cervix is not soft, effaced or dilated at all. We'd better schedule a c-section or induction". "You've been in labor 12 hours and you're only 4 cm we need to do a c-section" "You have been in labor six hours and you're only 2 cm we need to give you pitocin (and or break your water)". "I'm so upset, I'm 37 weeks and not dilated at all! The doctor says I'll need to be induced/sectioned" "I'm 36 weeks and I'm 3 cm. The doctor says I'll go early!" Nonsense all of it!
Doctors get this stupid idea that a woman should dilate about 1 cm per hour from something called the "Friedman Curve". This is bad medicine. Here. Here. Here.
The biggest problem is that women have been conditioned by hearing that dilation/effacement/softening of the cervix is important. The OB wants to start putting his/her hands in the pregnant woman's vagina at 36 weeks. The woman's friends ask about it. The other women on the birth boards online ask about it. This constant talk must mean something, right?! There must be a reason that doctors do this and women are all concerned about it, right?!
WRONG!
Stop, just stop making this something to tell or ask or attribute some importance to. This is counter productive. It serves only to discourage and cause women to believe their bodies are defective and that they cannot birth without "help".
This link was posted on a group I'm in after I posted this blog. I thought I would add it. It is about how to assess cervical dilation without a vaginal exam. Interesting information.
So, all my natural birth friends, what 'one thing' would you like to convince women of?
Dilation will tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will arrive. A woman can sit at four or five centimeters for weeks. Or she can be closed up tight hours before birth. Having an invasive, unnecessary procedure like a vaginal exam at the end of pregnancy or in labor is not helpful.
It is not 'something cool to know' either. This knowledge is senseless, purposeless. It is a weapon the OB or medwife will use to discourage a woman and cause her to believe that her body is defective. To have an excuse for intervention. "You're 36 weeks and your cervix is not soft, effaced or dilated at all. We'd better schedule a c-section or induction". "You've been in labor 12 hours and you're only 4 cm we need to do a c-section" "You have been in labor six hours and you're only 2 cm we need to give you pitocin (and or break your water)". "I'm so upset, I'm 37 weeks and not dilated at all! The doctor says I'll need to be induced/sectioned" "I'm 36 weeks and I'm 3 cm. The doctor says I'll go early!" Nonsense all of it!
Doctors get this stupid idea that a woman should dilate about 1 cm per hour from something called the "Friedman Curve". This is bad medicine. Here. Here. Here.
The biggest problem is that women have been conditioned by hearing that dilation/effacement/softening of the cervix is important. The OB wants to start putting his/her hands in the pregnant woman's vagina at 36 weeks. The woman's friends ask about it. The other women on the birth boards online ask about it. This constant talk must mean something, right?! There must be a reason that doctors do this and women are all concerned about it, right?!
WRONG!
Stop, just stop making this something to tell or ask or attribute some importance to. This is counter productive. It serves only to discourage and cause women to believe their bodies are defective and that they cannot birth without "help".
This link was posted on a group I'm in after I posted this blog. I thought I would add it. It is about how to assess cervical dilation without a vaginal exam. Interesting information.
So, all my natural birth friends, what 'one thing' would you like to convince women of?
Thursday, March 14, 2013
38 weeks
Wow! I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. :)
Taken yesterday
Birth kit came Saturday
Clothes I bought at the discount corner of my favorite consignment shop for $9
Cloth diapers I bought from a friend for $30!!
Booties the same friend gave me. It'll be a shame if I don't have a girl! :P
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