Birth of my eldest child

I think I'll go back in time and post the stories of all my births. I only have the last two on this blog. They are the best ones, but I'd like to have a record of the others too.
 So...

I found myself pregnant at 19. Single. I was determined to keep the baby and do the best I could to raise her (and I was sure it was a her from the very beginning).

Not having much money and the father out of the picture made pregnancy difficult. I cried most every day and often when I would wake at night. I didn't eat the best. I didn't take care of myself. I'm sure that had at least a little to do with the traumatic birth I had with her.

I had been having regular contractions every day for over a week. They would increase in frequency and intensity all day until I went to bed and the next morning would 'reset'.

Finally, about two weeks past my due date, I couldn't sleep one night. I tossed and turned and at about 3 am my mom and I decided I should go to the hospital. I got there and wasn't dilated at all. They sent me home saying I wasn't in labor. I was, just very early. I had an appointment with the OB that morning at 10:00. Just before we left for the appt. I went to the bathroom and discovered I had lost my mucus plug.

At the OBs office I was checked and was nearly 3cm so the doc said to go back to the hospital. I wish I had waited. I should have gone to eat and maybe for a walk. Alas, I did not. At lunch time the OB came and broke my water, which was stained with meconium.

A few hours later after no progress in dilation the OB ordered the nurses to start pitocin. The contractions quickly became unbearable. It was several hours later when I asked for the epidural. That gave me some temporary relief from the contractions. I began to have "breakthrough pain" and was given a dose of demorol. That did nothing for the pain, just made me out of it between contractions so that all I was aware of was pain. The rest is quite blurry.

I remember the OB coming in and being told to push. I remember the room filling up with people. They turned me on my side and put an oxygen mask on my face. I remember being told to push more. I heard her cry. I didn't get to really look at her for nearly an hour. The OB spent a long time stitching me up. He had to use forceps to get Kyla out because she was in severe distress and I was not pushing well.

When I finally got to hold her I was still so drugged I don't remember much except noticing that she had her father's ears.

My recovery was long. I was so tired. So was she. It was near impossible to get her to nurse because she wouldn't stay awake once she was latched on. When she wasn't nursing or sleeping she was screaming. There are so many things I wish I'd known then...

I look back on that and I believe I was preeclamptic. My OB I believe dismissed warning signs because I was young and had such a low normal blood pressure. I am honestly surprised now that both of us made it through that birth alive and well.

Her birth was rough. Her infancy a trial in many ways. I've never been sorry that I kept her. She has been one of the greatest blessings of my life and has grown up into a wonderful young woman. :)

Finished the Mei Tai

Well, at least I know what I am doing now. The next one will be much better! I hope to get some fabric in the next couple of weeks so I can do another one and a few other things.

31 weeks

Wow! How time has flown. Not long now before we'll be welcoming a new member to our family.

The kids and I began "Project Get Ready For Baby" this week. I plan to deep clean every room in the house and to get some sewing/crocheting done before babe arrives. We should be able to get to the kitchen twice. We didn't do much yesterday, it was lovely outside so we cleaned up the back yard. On Tuesday we did some work in the kitchen and repaired the net on the trampoline. Today I will try to finish the Mei Tai wrap I am working on. Hopefully I'll be able to get some material in the next couple of weeks to make a ring sling and a couple K'tan type wraps.

Busy two months ahead!

After the babe comes I plan on taking a nice, long six week 'babymoon'. :) I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to stay home and get to know my new baby. I do plan on having a kind of "meet and greet" a couple weeks after babe arrives so friends can come see the babe. :)

Now to get busy!

I Don't Want To...

write this post. I really don't.

In less than 30 hours my eldest daughter will be leaving home for three months to attend CMI (Children's Ministry Institute) in Missouri. That should be no big deal, right? Especially considering that we've already sent her off to Zambia, China and Romania. Those times she was coming back. For sure coming back.

This time she could not come back. She could be leaving home forever. She could meet some boy and get married and have a family of her own. Some young, clueless kid could come along and take her away. He will talk of his grand schemes of being a missionary in the deserts of Africa or the jungles of South America and she will be gone. They will go far away to serve God and my child will be gone. She will be a woman in whose life I have no say.

I've no doubt she will choose wisely. She's ever so much more sense than I had at eighteen. Even so, she will no longer be my daughter first. She will be a wife first and foremost and her life would be about him. Then she will have children and be a mother. That I really don't want to think about when I am expecting another baby myself! :P

I know it is unlikely, but possible even probable. I will miss her so much. She has been my daughter. My helper. My friend. My counselor. I'm not ready for the change that will come when she leaves to start a family of her own.

Kyla-girl, I love you. I will miss you. Take care. I know that God has great plans for you. :)

My Attempt at a Mei Tai

My 15 yo, Emma, and I made this today. I didn't have a pattern. I need to remake the top straps to add padding. Otherwise not bad. Best part was doing something with my daughter. :) I've forgotten how much I enjoy sewing. I really need to do it more. I have a few more projects I'd like to do before babe arrives. With Emma to help I might be able to get them done. :)

Patience

It is absolutely vital in pregnancy. Especially at the end.

By 36 wks most women are pretty miserable, what with the constant need to pee, restlessness, swollen feet, baby who insists on putting his feet in mom's ribs or using mom's bladder as a punching bag, indigestion... you get the idea. It is about that time that many women begin to inquire about what they can do to 'get ready' so they don't go past their due date. Most OBs will begin weekly cervical exams to assess a woman's readiness and progress. Women will be gloriously happy when at 37 weeks the OB tells them that they are 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Only to be disappointed when they still haven't had a baby at 41 weeks. Or they will be horribly depressed and fearful if at 39 weeks they are informed their cervix is still long and tight. So the quest to bring on labor begins.

Other women will tell of how they had sex twice a day, used castor oil, drank wine, did nipple stimulation, and so many other things that are purported to get a woman's body to kick labor into high gear. They will anxiously time those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions and perhaps make a trip (or two or three) to the hospital for them hoping to be told they are truly in labor. Dejected they go home and scour the internet for ways to make their body do what it obviously isn't ready for yet.

There are so many things wrong with this mentality.

1. The EDD is an estimate. It is a guess. Even if a woman had an ultrasound, it is still just a guess. The EDD could be off by two weeks. Attempting to have a baby before that magical date could lead to serious complications for the baby. Also, the due date is calculated with the knowledge that only a small number of women deliver on that day. Any time from two weeks before or two weeks after that date is perfectly normal. This is why inductions for 'post dates' or for convenience because babe is considered 'term' are not advisable. Even the ACOG admits this. If there is not a sound medical reason (NO! that doesn't include a baby 'too big', low fluid, or placental calcification, or any number of excuses OBs will offer) an induction is not the right choice.

2. Cervical checks tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will come, even if you are in labor. These are utterly pointless and invasive. I repeat: A cervical check to determine dilation or effacement tells you NOTHING of value. It is a tool used by practitioners to cause fear and instill doubt in a woman's mind about her body's ability to birth.

3. Every baby is different. Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every birth is unique. We are so very prone to fall victim to the desire for 'normalcy'. There really isn't such a thing in birth. Just because your cousin's best friend's sister had her baby at 36 weeks and everything was fine doesn't mean it is a good thing for your baby. Babies come when the time is right. Stress and anxiety can complicate the process and perhaps delay or stop a labor that otherwise would have proceeded normally.

4. Labor does not have a defined beginning that continues uninterrupted until birth. Natural, physiological labor can start and stop. It is a process that can take weeks. A "stalled" labor is quite often just a tired body. Mama needs rest, not to be pushed beyond the limits her body can withstand with drugs or other stimulation. She needs to sleep, or eat, or a massage.

5. Any interference in the birth process carries risks. Even those 'natural' methods. A woman's body, with rare exceptions, knows how and will birth just fine. Messing with this process in any way can have serious consequences. Breaking the water is, IMO, one of the worst interventions that are routinely done even by midwives.

Just wait. Be patient. Your body knows what to do. Stop trying to make things happen and just let them happen. Relax and enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy. They don't last forever and before long you'll be wishing for them again. Trust that God's design is perfect. He planned for everything in creating a woman's body. You are made for this. It took me six births to learn this. I hope that other women are quicker studies than me!