Elia gayle's birth

Elia was a surprise from the beginning. so I shouldn't have been surprised that her transition earthside was so different from my previous births. 

Thursday, August 21, I woke at about 3am to the feeling of leaking when I shifted position in bed. I was instantly wide awake. was that my water? no, can't be. I'm only 35+4 weeks. I don't have babies early. and my water doesn't break before the very end of labour. so I must have just wet myself. no biggie, I'm too tired to get up it can wait. I shifted again. more leakage. I did not wet myself. I sat up. little gush. yeah, definitely not wetting myself. 

freaking out just a little. this isn't supposed to happen. I don't have babies early. yelled at the man to get up. asked for the phone. called the midwife. am I having contractions? no. go back to bed she says. I put a diaper and lay down. mind is racing. I don't have a birth kit. don't have clothes for this baby. it's too early. 

messaged my two friends who I'd asked to be with me in labour. the man decides to go to the office and get things done. Michelle comes over early and brings breakfast and coffee. God bless her! we chat and wait for contractions to start. 

later I decide to try and nap. Michelle goes home to check on things and nap. daven comes over. we talked. I need a distraction so we head to the babywearing group meetup around noon. midwife comes by before we leave to get a swab to confirm water has broken. everyone's surprise at seeing me was fun! :P

after that, home to nap. then shopping for some clothes for baby. contractions picking up. things stall out after midwife says we have a 72 hr deadline. if babe doesn't make an appearance earthside we must transport. stress is bad for labour. have dinner and kids to bed. daven and Michelle and their nurslings stay the night. 

Friday morning. the man makes breakfast. contractions are strong but very far apart. daven and Michelle head home to take care of things and get some rest. daven comes back and I realized I've had no water leakage since first thing in the morning. do another swab around 4pm and its negative. that relieves my anxiety about transfer. not leaking no need to worry, right?

around 7pm daven, Michelle, and me go to dinner. nice dinner. good conversation. we eat and pay and are chatting and I feel a small gush. we hustle out of the restaurant. daven puts a cloth diaper and extra wrap on the passenger seat to catch any leakage and we head home. we talk and laugh about it. we stop for a bottle of wine, cuz I need to relax and get some sleep. 

at home text the midwife. no contractions to speak of so I drink a glass of wine and go to bed. 

Saturday. sometime after 4 am I wake up to contractions. I lay there awhile deciding. I message daven and Michelle. daven asks if I want her to come and I say she could wait awhile. next contraction changes my mind. come now please. they arrive sometime after 6 or so. 

back pain. strong contractions. nothing is really comfortable. around 7 we text Leah(the midwife) that it's time. strong contractions. back aches and legs hurt. I ask for the hip squeeze and it's never hard enough. my legs hurt so much standing but lying down is worse. so I stand. hanging on daven with the man squeezing my hips and Michelle encouraging and getting cool cloths. 

the pain in my legs is constant and makes it hard to be calm and relax. contractions get close. on top of each other. I get sick. the point where I feel I can't do it. I'm too tired. it hurts too much. Michelle and daven reminding me my baby is almost here. I'm doing great they say. 

I end up on my knees leaning on the couch. pushing. babe is coming. I feel her head crowning and I encourage her. she's here and Leah passes her to me between my legs. her cry is good and she's so beautiful. the kids crowd around to see. 

obviously the edd was close. she's early. Leah had the O2 ready. we watch her and she's good at first. slowly she declines. I keep thinking she'll turn around. she'll get it. but no she's worse and we decide to transfer. Leah, daven, Michelle, the man, and me rushing around to get ready to leave. I dress with help and Leah calls 911. 

when the firemen and ambulance arrive it seems to take forever for them to get her in the ambulance and on the way. stupid people don't know how to get out of the way! I'm praying and crying. please God, let my baby be okay. 

so much scary at the hospital. sepsis. too much blood. weeks. they say. she looks so fragile there. tubes and wires all over her. intubation tube mutes her cries. two days later she's so much better. still six more days in hospital.

finally home. rough ride, but worth it all.

Disappointment in Birth

I've been disappointed in birth a few times. Those times that I consented to an induction or the couple of times I received pain meds. With my natural births and especially my home births I never felt disappointed... Until Oliver. 

The back labor was so intense and I needed so much help from my husband to get through the contractions. The dread I felt over letting the midwife help with the cervical lip. The complete exhaustion. There comes a point in every labor where I've felt "I just can't do this anymore", but this was different. Other times it was mostly mental, the contractions were close and intense and I wanted relief from pain. This time it was mental an physical. I had no energy to get through it. I was utterly exhausted. I needed help. I needed more help than I was willing to admit. 

Looking back I see what I should have done. I should have stayed home and slept instead of shopping. I should have let the midwife help with the lip sooner. I should have eaten more earlier on. I should have asked for more support from my midwife and daughters. If I'd let them know just how much I needed their help I would have gotten it, but I've never needed much help before and so I said nothing. Pride. Very misplaced pride, kept me silent. Well... At least on that point. I was making a great deal of noise. 

After Oliver was born I didn't have that glorious moment that makes all the work worth it. He was limp and unresponsive at first and maybe my concern was what took that moment. Even after that I felt... Disconnected. Oliver could have been anyone's child for all that I felt for him. I felt nothing really. Mechanically, I fed him, diapered him and cuddled him. The cuddling was, I think, an attempt to make myself feel what I thought I should. 

I suffered a bad case of "baby blues". I had panic attacks when my husband had to go back to work. Overwhelmed. Completely, totally overwhelmed that's what I felt. All that I felt. 

The human capacity to "soldier on" is quite amazing. I went through the motions. Said what I was sure people wanted to hear, but inside... 

I finally told my husband and midwife how I felt. My husband soothed and said I was doing a great job taking care of the baby. The midwife helped me come to terms with such a difficult birth. The thing she said that helped the most was that having been through such a difficult and traumatic birth would make me a better midwife- if I ever actually make it there. That's when I remembered that knowing that others understand, that they know what it's like helps so much when you are walking through the fire yourself. 

After about two weeks the blues faded and I was back on a more even keel emotionally. I fell in love with my beautiful baby. I realized that birth doesn't have to be that perfect, romantic experience in order to be positive. 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Oliver Matthew's Birth (long version)

Monday, April 1, I was very sleepy. I'd some mucus the night before and through the morning but nothing else. The man had been at work but got home around 5 and we went out to do some shopping and then went to Abuelo's and split a quesadilla and a chocolate eruption cake. Yum! I was very tired and in retrospect I should have stayed home and slept, but one last night out with the man before babe arrived was nice. 

After we got home the contractions were a bit stronger but not regular or even that close. I lay down and tried to rest while the man got the kids to bed. 

I woke at midnight to a contraction. After a couple of contractions about 10 minutes apart I decided I would wait until 1 to wake the man and call the midwife. The next contraction changed my mind. Woke the man and called L (the midwife). 

L arrived about 1 am. I was sitting on the birth ball between contractions. I could not sit down during them. I got up and paced during them and then sat down again when they were over. Contractions got closer and stronger not long after L arrived the contractions were 4 min apart lasting over a minute. L was timing them. I remember thinking that it seemed so much longer between when she told me how close they were. I was still chatting between. I'd never felt the need to vocalize in labor before. I did this time. At first I just breathed loudly, by the end I was really yelling. I was hungry so the man made me some of these awesome No Bake Energy Bites. He and Cora ate most of them. :P

I got in the shower for a bit. Then went to the bedroom. The man helped my by doing the hip squeeze durning contractions. I tried sitting on the ball during a contraction and found that very uncomfortable. I spent much of the time kind of in a knee chest postion on the bed. Around 3 or 3:30 I started feeling pushy during ctx. I was having a lot of pain low in front and L said that was likely from a cervical lip. So I didn't push just tried to ride the ctx. I remembered what it was like having someone move that lip and I wasn't anxious to have that done again.

Nothing was comfortable. My back ached and the pain in front made it hard to deal. If the man wasn't squeezing my hips during a ctx I just could not keep it together. I was really yelling/growling during contractions by this time.

So I got in the shower. That didn't help much. The man was a trooper and was there to squeeze my hips with every contraction. I'd been giving little pushes while in the shower. By 5 I was done. Exhausted, it was on the tip of my tongue to say "Take me to the hospital and let them cut me open. I'm done". The contractions during that time brought me to tears and I was really screaming. L could tell I was at the end of my stamina. She asked if she could check to see if there was a cervical lip. I fought that for a couple contractions. Poor L, she wanted to help me so badly and I was not being cooperative. I wanted to do it all myself without help. It was hard to give in and consent to the help I needed. I finally let L check for the lip and there was one, just as she'd suspected for two hours or more. She offered to help get babe's head over the lip and a VitB shot. 

I got the shot and a couple ctx later I felt better. Not so worn out and that I could make it through. We were so close after all. I consented to the help with the lip. It was just as bad as I remember. After that things got moving but even so this was my longest second stage ever. Babe was trying to get turned around and OH MY! Did that hurt! It was odd to feel him moving so consciously  with real purpose trying to get in the correct position. Poor boy had a bruised forehead and ear from that. 

I got out of the tub and was going to try and make it back to the bedroom. Instead I sat on the pot during a few ctx and pushed. I stood up and pushed more. The 'ring of fire' was the worst I'd ever felt. I pushed slower than I would have otherwise. I know L was applying counterpressure so I wouldn't tear. I was doing the same in front because I was really worried I would tear this time. If we had pictures of that scene I'm sure it would be funny. There were five adult size people and a preschooler in our little bathroom. :)

Babe's head came slow and the mw remarked that the head was big. Once the head was out I could tell he was stuck. L said what I knew I needed to do, get on my hands and knees. Down on hands and knees I went and the L eventually had to reach in and grab him while I pushed with all I had. And then some! I remember L asking someone the time. 6:36 am April 2. 

When L passed him to me between my legs I noticed immediately that he was floppy and said so. L said she knew. It was strange that I felt a bit panicked, but my voice sounded calm to me. It didn't take long for him to perk up, but those seconds were slightly terrifying. While still on the floor I looked to see if we had a boy or girl. I stood up and held babe face down on my forearm with his head aimed toward the floor to get him breathing well. There had been meconium in the water that was slightly worrisome. Once he was breathing very well and his color was good. I sat back down on the pot so I could comfortably look at my baby.

He had lots of vernix which surprised me. We'd thought he was 'overdue' but the vernix contradicted that. He wouldn't breastfeed right away. Unlike my other babes he just wasn't interested. He also didn't open his eyes. These things bothered me a little and I worried. I didn't really relax until he'd nursed. The cord was quite short. I was holding him just barely up to my breast and the cord was taut. 

The placenta came awhile later, I'm not really sure of the time. 

It took awhile but we eventually got settled in bed. Babe finally nursed. I've never felt so utterly exhausted or beat up from a birth before- except perhaps after my first. It was more from the bruising I had on my thigh and ankle from the varicose veins I get during pregnancy. All the movement had irritated that. The long pushing had physically worn me out, but the pain from the bruising was more difficult to handle.

Mw called it right after he was born and said he was 10lbs. She was only half an ounce off. :) He was a pound heavier than my next largest baby. We didn't settle on a name for a few days. Oliver was 9 lbs 15.5 oz, 22 inches with a 15 in head.

Pics again:

Me just shy of 12 hours before Oliver was born

 L checking babe over

 Me, Oliver and Sara

 Oliver being weighed

 Cora and Oliver

 Gilbert and Oliver

 Sara, Edward and Oliver

 Oliver nursing

 Wesley and Oliver

Oliver Matthew's Birth Story (short version)

Monday I was very sleepy. I'd some mucus the night before and through the morning but nothing else. The man had been at work but got home around 5 and we went out to do some shopping and then went to Abuelo's and split a quesadilla and a chocolate eruption cake. Yum!

The contractions were a bit stronger but not regular or even that close. At home I lay down and tried to rest while the man got the kids to bed.

I woke at midnight. After a couple of contractions about 10 minutes apart I decided I would wait until 1 to wake the man and call the midwife. The next contraction changed my mind. Woke the man called L.

Contractions got closer and stronger. I'd never felt the need to vocalize in labor before. I did this time. Around 3 or 3:30 I started feeling pushy during ctx. I was having a lot of pain low in front and the mw said that was likely from a cervical lip. So I didn't push just tried to ride the ctx.

Nothing was comfortable. My back ached and the pain in front made it hard to deal. If the man wasn't squeezing my hips during a ctx I just could not keep it together.

So I got in the shower. That didn't help much. By 5 I was done. Exhausted and it was on the tip of my tongue to say "Take me to the hospital and let them cut me open. I'm done". The mw could tell I was at the end of my stamina. She offered to help get babe's head over the lip and a VitB shot.

I got the shot and a couple ctx later I consented to the help with the lip. After that things got moving but even so this was my longest second stage ever. Babe was trying to get turned around and OH MY! Did that hurt! Poor boy has a bruised forehead and ear from that.

I got out of the tub and was going to try and make it back to the bedroom. Instead I sat on the pot during a few ctx and pushed.

Babe's head came slow and the mw remarked that the head was big. Once the head was out I could tell he was stuck. Down on hands and knees I went and the mw eventually had to reach in and grab him while I pushed with all I had. And then some!

Mw passed him to me between my legs and I noticed immediately that he was floppy and said so. It didn't take long for him to perk up, but those seconds were slightly terrifying.

He had lots of vernix which surprised me. I got around to seeing if we had a boy or girl after I felt sure he was breathing well.

It took awhile but we eventually got settled in bed. I've never felt so utterly exhausted or beat up from a birth before- except perhaps after my first.

Mw called it right after he was born and said he was 10lbs. She was only half an ounce off. :)

You know what makes me sad?

Women who are glad that doctors abuse them.
Yesterday on a ddg a woman posted about how she'd gone in for an appt at 38w4d and the OB checked her and she was 1cm and then the doc forcefully opened her to 2. It hurt and she bled and yet she was glad he'd done it. :( 

Then another woman in for her 37 wk appt and the OB stripped her membranes breaking her water. She ends up with a cord prolapse and emergency c/s and she is just so grateful that the OB saved her baby's life.
SMH

It is becoming hard to read posts in the birth boards because I know the information women are being given by their doctors is wrong or at the very least misleading. They have been groomed from early in their pregnancy to expect the worst and the OB then has them so afraid it is all too easy to convince them to submit to unnecessary, unwarranted procedures. Dangerous things like induction or a cesarean for not reason.

The women are happy to submit to this abuse. It makes me fear for what the birth culture will be when my girls begin having babies. I'm doing my best to educate them and teach them to question everything but the indoctrination is so pervasive. Women so easily accept the excuses and the false claims of fetal problems.

Is it just me, or is there an epidemic of preeclampsia? And don't get me started on the "your baby will be too big for you to birth vaginally so we need to induce or section you". I'm so disheartened reading the posts on the mainstream birth boards. I know there are communities online of women who do know better, but the vast majority do not. Are those of us in the movement to promote natural birth deceiving ourselves that things are changing for the better because we have the internet and so we 'know' all these other women who believe the way we do? Or is the change real?

Loooooong Labor

I've been laboring for over two weeks.

I know what you're thinking. "Labor doesn't last two weeks." Or "It's just false labor"

Well, I'm here to tell you that you are wrong. I can most certainly tell the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and the real deal. This is the real deal.

Progress has been slow. If you read this blog at all you know I don't do cervical checks but I've used other dilation assessments. I know the number won't tell me a whole lot but it does tell me that I'm not insane and that this is indeed labor and work is being done.

I'm trying to just go with it. To relax and let things happen as they will. Babe is well. I am well. There is no need to rush things since my EDD is not until the 27 th

I've had moments of discouragement. Times I felt something more should be happening. Wondering why I couldn't just get into a nice predictable labor pattern.

I had a nice talk with my midwife last night. *Sidenote: midwives are so much better than OBs. What OB would come and sit and talk with a patient for over an hour? And then offer to help with housework? * After she'd listened to what was on my mind she said, "Well, now I know why we don't have a baby yet.".

I'm worried about some things. Finances, my husband not being here due to work, the state of my house, etc. some of that I cannot do anything about so I'm just going to have to give those burdens to Jesus. The midwife offered to come help me get some of the housework I want done. My kids have done a good job of getting the basic day to day stuff done. It is the stuff that does not get done daily, that I've been unable to do or really oversee its accomplishment that is bothering me.

I talked with my husband last night too. He is really an awesome hubby and I do not want anyone to think that I do not appreciate him. He's been wonderful when I've had to stay in bed these last two months. He's done an amazing job making sure we all have the things we need each day. I must admit he's a better homemaker than me. LOL his only fault is being a bit of a joker. When I'm serious he makes jokes. So his joking about it not being a good time to have a baby has me on edge. He'll be here when babe comes, I know that, but I have been stressing thinking that he wouldn't be.

So, hopefully now that I've gotten those things off my chest and with some help to get the house the way I want it and the man has promised no more teasing, I will relax enough and babe will come.

Cora's Birth- babe #3

Being an impatient person I had tried to induce labor with Castor Oil at around 38 weeks. That did nothing except make me miserable. At my 39 week OB appointment I scheduled an induction for the following week.

Thankfully, babe had better plans. I woke early on a Saturday morning to contractions. I got up and took a shower and paced around the kitchen and living room. Around 6 am I woke up my husband. We went to breakfast with a guy dh worked with, our normal Saturday routine. I ate a big breakfast and then we went and dropped the two girls off at a friend's house. I called the doula to let her know what was going on.

My husband and I went for a walk. We ended our walk at Fazoli's and had lunch and then walked home.

I was rather tired after being up for nearly 12 hours already. So I laid down and watched a movie. During that time the contractions spaced out to every 30-45 minutes. I slept off and on for a few hours. When I woke up the contractions immediately picked up to about every 3-4 minutes. We were about to leave for the hospital when my in laws showed up with the girls. Needless to say I was a bit peeved. The in laws lived next door to the friend that we'd asked to watch the girls and mother in law had decided that I wasn't really in labor and had picked the girls up and brought them home.

We loaded the girls in the car with us and headed to the hospital. Checked in and was checked. I was at 6 cm. So, I called the doula again. Dh took the girls back to our friend's house. The doula arrived while he was gone.

Dh, the doula and I went for a walk outside. The weather was absolutely beautiful, a rare thing for Florida in May. The humidity was low there was a nice light breeze, the temperature was perfect and the sky was clear.

After that things really got going. I spent some time in the shower in my room. At around 6 pm the OB and her head nurse showed up. The nurse was a bit annoying saying things like, "We could break your water and speed things up." Things were moving along just fine as far as I was concerned so I declined. The doula said to her, "Do you have a date or something? You don't need to stay." :)

Not long after the nurse left I was ready to push. The OB came in and reminded me that I had wanted to use the squat bar and asked if I wanted it. I didn't. Pushing took about half an hour. Cora came out with a head full of dark hair. That was funny because earlier while walking the halls with the doula we'd passed the nursery and there was a baby in there with lots of hair and I said, "I wish my babies would have hair. both mine have been bald." :)

Cora latched right away and nursed like a champ for 45 minutes before I let them take her to the nursery in an effort to get rid of the in laws who had showed up ten minutes after she was born disappointed they had missed the birth. Her birth was by far my best hospital birth. I had a great OB who was willing to let things progress without pressuring me and remembering my wishes.

Just One Thing

If there was just one thing I could convince every pregnant woman of it would be that cervical checks during pregnancy, and even during labor, are absolutely pointless. Barring of course those who have a history of preterm labor or who are suspected of preterm labor.

Dilation will tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will arrive. A woman can sit at four or five centimeters for weeks. Or she can be closed up tight hours before birth. Having an invasive, unnecessary procedure like a vaginal exam at the end of pregnancy or in labor is not helpful.

It is not 'something cool to know' either. This knowledge is senseless, purposeless. It is a weapon the OB or medwife will use to discourage a woman and cause her to believe that her body is defective. To have an excuse for intervention. "You're 36 weeks and your cervix is not soft, effaced or dilated at all. We'd better schedule a c-section or induction". "You've been in labor 12 hours and you're only 4 cm we need to do a c-section" "You have been in labor six hours and you're only 2 cm we need to give you pitocin (and or break your water)". "I'm so upset, I'm 37 weeks and not dilated at all! The doctor says I'll need to be induced/sectioned" "I'm 36 weeks and I'm 3 cm. The doctor says I'll go early!" Nonsense all of it!

Doctors get this stupid idea that a woman should dilate about 1 cm per hour from something called the "Friedman Curve". This is bad medicine. Here. Here. Here.

The biggest problem is that women have been conditioned by hearing that dilation/effacement/softening of the cervix is important. The OB wants to start putting his/her hands in the pregnant woman's vagina at 36 weeks. The woman's friends ask about it. The other women on the birth boards online ask about it.  This constant talk must mean something, right?! There must be a reason that doctors do this and women are all concerned about it, right?!

WRONG!

Stop, just stop making this something to tell or ask or attribute some importance to. This is counter productive. It serves only to discourage and cause women to believe their bodies are defective and that they cannot birth without "help".

This link was posted on a group I'm in after I posted this blog. I thought I would add it. It is about how to assess cervical dilation without a vaginal exam. Interesting information.

So, all my natural birth friends, what 'one thing' would you like to convince women of?

Emma's Birth - babe #2

I became pregnant with Emma  a couple months after I married my husband. Uneventful pregnancy. I was 'borderline gestational diabetes' so I watched my diet closely toward the end.

I was having the awful prodromal labor again. I was tired of being pregnant. I had tried a few herbal things to try and get labor going. We scheduled an induction when I was just over 40 wks.

Went to the hospital at 5:30 and they started the pitocin within an hour. I think I may have already been in early labor. I spent a lot of time on the labor ball. My husband was great, rubbing my back, getting me ice, etc.

After about 8 hrs of no real cervical change I wanted to go home. I had gone from 2cm to 3cm so the nurse assured me that there was progress. The OB came and broke my water, which made the contractions more intense. After about 12 hours and only being 4cm I asked for pain meds. I got one dose of stadol. I remember at one point every time I would have a contraction babe would go nuts. That hurt so badly!

Finally, after 16 hours on pitocin, I birthed my second baby. I was still under the influence of the stadol so those first couple hours are a bit hazy. Emma was 8 lbs 6 oz and 20 in (IIRC). Her collar bone was broken during delivery. :(

We stayed in the hospital for 5 days because she was jaundiced. They had me scared half to death over that. On the good side, the hospital where I had her they believed in real rooming in. They had portable bililights and so she was never away from me.

The only hospital pic I have of her, poor thing.

At four months

Birth of my eldest child

I think I'll go back in time and post the stories of all my births. I only have the last two on this blog. They are the best ones, but I'd like to have a record of the others too.
 So...

I found myself pregnant at 19. Single. I was determined to keep the baby and do the best I could to raise her (and I was sure it was a her from the very beginning).

Not having much money and the father out of the picture made pregnancy difficult. I cried most every day and often when I would wake at night. I didn't eat the best. I didn't take care of myself. I'm sure that had at least a little to do with the traumatic birth I had with her.

I had been having regular contractions every day for over a week. They would increase in frequency and intensity all day until I went to bed and the next morning would 'reset'.

Finally, about two weeks past my due date, I couldn't sleep one night. I tossed and turned and at about 3 am my mom and I decided I should go to the hospital. I got there and wasn't dilated at all. They sent me home saying I wasn't in labor. I was, just very early. I had an appointment with the OB that morning at 10:00. Just before we left for the appt. I went to the bathroom and discovered I had lost my mucus plug.

At the OBs office I was checked and was nearly 3cm so the doc said to go back to the hospital. I wish I had waited. I should have gone to eat and maybe for a walk. Alas, I did not. At lunch time the OB came and broke my water, which was stained with meconium.

A few hours later after no progress in dilation the OB ordered the nurses to start pitocin. The contractions quickly became unbearable. It was several hours later when I asked for the epidural. That gave me some temporary relief from the contractions. I began to have "breakthrough pain" and was given a dose of demorol. That did nothing for the pain, just made me out of it between contractions so that all I was aware of was pain. The rest is quite blurry.

I remember the OB coming in and being told to push. I remember the room filling up with people. They turned me on my side and put an oxygen mask on my face. I remember being told to push more. I heard her cry. I didn't get to really look at her for nearly an hour. The OB spent a long time stitching me up. He had to use forceps to get Kyla out because she was in severe distress and I was not pushing well.

When I finally got to hold her I was still so drugged I don't remember much except noticing that she had her father's ears.

My recovery was long. I was so tired. So was she. It was near impossible to get her to nurse because she wouldn't stay awake once she was latched on. When she wasn't nursing or sleeping she was screaming. There are so many things I wish I'd known then...

I look back on that and I believe I was preeclamptic. My OB I believe dismissed warning signs because I was young and had such a low normal blood pressure. I am honestly surprised now that both of us made it through that birth alive and well.

Her birth was rough. Her infancy a trial in many ways. I've never been sorry that I kept her. She has been one of the greatest blessings of my life and has grown up into a wonderful young woman. :)

Patience

It is absolutely vital in pregnancy. Especially at the end.

By 36 wks most women are pretty miserable, what with the constant need to pee, restlessness, swollen feet, baby who insists on putting his feet in mom's ribs or using mom's bladder as a punching bag, indigestion... you get the idea. It is about that time that many women begin to inquire about what they can do to 'get ready' so they don't go past their due date. Most OBs will begin weekly cervical exams to assess a woman's readiness and progress. Women will be gloriously happy when at 37 weeks the OB tells them that they are 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Only to be disappointed when they still haven't had a baby at 41 weeks. Or they will be horribly depressed and fearful if at 39 weeks they are informed their cervix is still long and tight. So the quest to bring on labor begins.

Other women will tell of how they had sex twice a day, used castor oil, drank wine, did nipple stimulation, and so many other things that are purported to get a woman's body to kick labor into high gear. They will anxiously time those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions and perhaps make a trip (or two or three) to the hospital for them hoping to be told they are truly in labor. Dejected they go home and scour the internet for ways to make their body do what it obviously isn't ready for yet.

There are so many things wrong with this mentality.

1. The EDD is an estimate. It is a guess. Even if a woman had an ultrasound, it is still just a guess. The EDD could be off by two weeks. Attempting to have a baby before that magical date could lead to serious complications for the baby. Also, the due date is calculated with the knowledge that only a small number of women deliver on that day. Any time from two weeks before or two weeks after that date is perfectly normal. This is why inductions for 'post dates' or for convenience because babe is considered 'term' are not advisable. Even the ACOG admits this. If there is not a sound medical reason (NO! that doesn't include a baby 'too big', low fluid, or placental calcification, or any number of excuses OBs will offer) an induction is not the right choice.

2. Cervical checks tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will come, even if you are in labor. These are utterly pointless and invasive. I repeat: A cervical check to determine dilation or effacement tells you NOTHING of value. It is a tool used by practitioners to cause fear and instill doubt in a woman's mind about her body's ability to birth.

3. Every baby is different. Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every birth is unique. We are so very prone to fall victim to the desire for 'normalcy'. There really isn't such a thing in birth. Just because your cousin's best friend's sister had her baby at 36 weeks and everything was fine doesn't mean it is a good thing for your baby. Babies come when the time is right. Stress and anxiety can complicate the process and perhaps delay or stop a labor that otherwise would have proceeded normally.

4. Labor does not have a defined beginning that continues uninterrupted until birth. Natural, physiological labor can start and stop. It is a process that can take weeks. A "stalled" labor is quite often just a tired body. Mama needs rest, not to be pushed beyond the limits her body can withstand with drugs or other stimulation. She needs to sleep, or eat, or a massage.

5. Any interference in the birth process carries risks. Even those 'natural' methods. A woman's body, with rare exceptions, knows how and will birth just fine. Messing with this process in any way can have serious consequences. Breaking the water is, IMO, one of the worst interventions that are routinely done even by midwives.

Just wait. Be patient. Your body knows what to do. Stop trying to make things happen and just let them happen. Relax and enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy. They don't last forever and before long you'll be wishing for them again. Trust that God's design is perfect. He planned for everything in creating a woman's body. You are made for this. It took me six births to learn this. I hope that other women are quicker studies than me!

Childbirth Musings

I am expecting again. Babe #9 will arrive sometime in late March or early April, God willing.

I've been contemplating the birth culture in our country. I've thought about this a lot in the past too. There is so much fear surrounding birth, so much reliance on "science". Instead of embracing birth as a wonderful transition to motherhood and trusting that God created our bodies with the capacity to birth our babies, there is fear and an unwillingness to birth as nature intended.

In most cultures, even in our own before the advent of the male obstetrician, birth is women's domain. Women help each other through this journey to motherhood. When a woman is in labor her mother, her sisters, her cousins, or friends come and stay with her. Perhaps they take care of the older children or cook. They encourage her and comfort her through labor. I wish we had that.

There has been a move toward that. In most places you can hire a doula. This isn't exactly what I would hope for though. Hiring someone to help you seems... wrong somehow. This is something we should do for each other as women. Not because we are getting some financial gain from it but just because we share this thing, this amazing, hard, rewarding, thing called birth. I wish to see women coming together to support each other during pregnancy, birth, and those difficult early weeks. I'm just as guilty as the next woman of neglecting that duty to my fellows. Caught up in my own concerns and unsure of what is the right thing to do.

There are big hurdles in getting to what I think is the right place in birth. Hospitals have policies about how many people can be with the laboring woman during labor and birth. Most women have too much fear surrounding birth to even contemplate a homebirth. Those of us who do homebirth are somewhat isolated. There is also the fact that most women work and can't take off for three days to sit with their friend and comfort her during labor. Or if they do stay home they have kids that must be cared for.

I've had three wonderful homebirths and one pretty awesome hospital birth. I've not had the kind of atmosphere I think is ideal. I like having people around when I am in labor, but it freaks most people out. I have long labors I would hate to be, no I did hate being, isolated during labor. My husband is great and I am so thankful for him being with me for the births of our babies, but even that isn't what my picture of an ideal birth is. With my last two homebirths I had some extra folks around, but they were there mainly to help with the other kids not to be my labor support. I've never had that wonderful feeling of being helped and comforted by those who understand what I'm going through. I want that for myself. I want to be that for someone else.

This isn't the post I set out to write, not exactly. In my mind I was much more eloquent. :) It turned out to be rather jumbled and pointless. Oh well.

Why I Birth At Home

or "Ignorant Obstetrician Alert"
Read this article.

Now, tell me how that made you feel? If you are like me, it made you hair pulling mad!

I could rant about nearly every sentence in that article. I won't rant about that much in this blog post, well at least I'll try not to.

"Not fear of childbirth, despite the fact that is is inherently dangerous..."

Childbirth is NOT inherently dangerous. Yes, there are things that can go wrong, but a knowledgeable woman who knows her body and herself or a good care provider will know when a woman needs care. The idea this OB has comes from her education. An education that stresses and highlights the dangers without the knowledge about how birth happens in the absence of 'management'.

"evidently only losers, the weak and the unempowered, fear pain"

No. No one likes pain and, yes, we even fear it. Pain does not have to be part of labor, not always. NCB advocates do not think women are 'weak' for needing pain relief or fearing pain. We just know that the risks often outweigh the benefits. Simple risk/benefit analysis.

" who is going to buy the services of someone who hectors you to avoid pain relief when you are in agonizing pain (a doula)"

Obviously, this OB has no idea what a doula actually does. And it is likely that the 'agonizing pain' is due to AROM or pitocin or being forced to lay in bed instead of moving around as a woman will when in labor if left alone.

"And who is going to let her precious baby be delivered by a high school graduate who knows nothing about science and thinks gems have "energy" and flowers having healing "essences" (a CPM, a certified "professional" midwife)"

I don't know any midwives who believes that. And the derogatory way she uses, "high school graduate" as if a midwife gets no other education is just disgusting. My midwife is a CPM and is excellent and very knowledgeable.

"Who is going to waste hundreds of dollars on goofy ideas "

I've had three home births and not spent a dime on any 'goofy ideas'.

"Craig Thompson, professor of marketing at University of Wisconsin wrote about this tactic in Consumer Risk Perceptions in a Community of Reflexive Doubt the in the September 2005
Journal of Consumer Research... "Advocates of natural childbirth seek to inculcate reflexive doubt by countering two common sense objections to their unorthodox construction of risk: (1) medicalized births would have never gained a cultural foothold if they were so risk laden and (2) the medical profession would not support obstetric practices that place laboring women at risk"

Medicalized birth gained a foothold by powerful and expensive lobbies to outlaw midwifery and promote medical licensure. Ever heard of the damage caused by the routine x-rays of pregnant women? Scopolomine? Thalidomide? Dorsal lithotomy? Routine episiotomy? Constant fetal monitoring? Mr. Thompson is obviously glaringly ignorant of obstetrical history, but then, he is only a marketing professor.

" That's why it is absolutely imperative for natural childbirth advocates to hid the fact that in the 100 years after its advent, modern obstetrics dropped the neonatal mortality rate 90% and the maternal mortality rate 99%."

And even so the US has just about the highest infant and maternal mortality and morbidity rates in the industrialized world! What an accomplishment! What sets us apart from those countries with better birth outcomes? Numbers of midwives.

OBs can't even claim responsibility for much of the decrease in mortality. Antibiotics have had an enormous impact. So have other technological advances that are not attributable to OBs.

"such as forceps deliveries—as unnecessary intrusions whose primary function was enabling physicians to display technical skill."

Forceps deliveries would be much less necessary if OBs did not require women to birth lying on their backs. I will acknowledge that there are time when they could be necessary, but not always necessary as was purported by some OBs.

"The message, integral to natural childbirth advocacy is clear: Obstetricians can't help women because their technology is useless (except in the rarest of circumstances)."

I don't know of any NCB advocate that would say OBs are useless. We all know that things can, and sometimes do, go wrong and we are thankful that there are those that are able to help in those instances.

"You need to buy books and visit websites"

I've bought very few books and while I do visit a good many websites, that is free.

"And for the truly committed, you need to pay a high school graduate who is "trained" in normal birth (kind of like a meteorologist who is trained in forecasting only good weather) to do basically nothing except call 911 and disappear if things go wrong."

The insane hegemony is getting tiresome. This OB has no idea how midwives are trained. If a woman has to go to the hospital the midwife will go with her.

"NCB advocates must convince you to spend tens of dollars on books, hundreds of dollars on classes, and thousands of dollars for the company of women who are incapable of doing a blessed thing if complications occur."

Again, I don't spend much on books, and in any case, no one convinced me to buy them. I wanted them so I bought them. I don't spend anything on classes. And my midwife is very capable in the event of complications.

"They must fill women with misinformation about childbirth and keep those same women ignorant of what science actually shows. "

I love it! Obstetrics, the profession that uses evidence based methods less that any other I am aware of, saying the the NCB community is misinforming women! What a joke!

"NCB advocates must create an alternative universe entirely unmoored from the reality of childbirth dangers, unmoored from scientific evidence,"

Yes, because there is so much evidence for constant fetal monitoring, excessive use of ultrasound, the use of pitocin and epidural and those interventions have been thoroughly researched. Ma'am, you are ignorant about NCB and its advocates.

" or pay thousands of dollars for what are essentially lay companions with no particular knowledge of childbirth"

Your pedantic hegemony is nauseating. Really.

"When it comes to natural childbirth, follow the money. Without fear, NCB advocates won't make money."

Yes, follow the money. Know what you'll find? That birth in hospitals with OBs in attendance is the reason that the US spends more that any other country in the world and we still have some of the worst outcomes.

This article made me so angry and just plain sick that OBs like that can practice and influence women.

Birth

I know I've posted about this before, but I have more to say. ;)  

It saddens me how little confidence women have in their bodies, that are made to give birth, and themselves to birth a child. It is especially disturbing how Christian women who rail against 'science' when it attacks creation blindly follow the dictates of the 'scientist' obstetrician.                                        

A woman's body has an amazing capacity to carry and grow and birth and then sustain that new life. God made her that way. Sure, sometimes things don't go perfectly; but those times are much more rare than the doctors would have a pregnant woman believe. Birth is not 'an accident waiting to happen' it is a normal biological function and a woman's body knows how to do it.   

 

 

I have heard so many women say how they wouldn't even try to birth without drugs, usually the epidural. They would not say that if they truly understood the mechanism of birth. All that intense sensation has a purpose. The hormones and chemicals released by a mother in labor signal the baby to release sympathetic hormones and chemicals that get baby ready to breathe and eat and survive. Those things don't happen if a woman is induced or drugged.                                                                                  

I don't want to sound like a self-righteous birth snob, but I know that's how this is going to sound. Oh well.

I have birthed 8 babies. Yes 8. Two inductions, two posterior (one of those an induction), three homebirths, five with no drugs at all. With my induced posterior I didn't have any pain meds. That was a monster of a labor! I am not a masochist. I am really quite a wimp. I don't have easy labor, as someone once suggested. And no, the babies don't just fall out after having so many. I have labors that last days, weeks even. And even my transition phase is a bit of a marathon.

I know from all of that experience is that a woman's body needs time and rest and to be left alone to birth. Labor, contrary to what the books will tell you, can start and then stop and then pick up again right where it left off. That 'stop' is a necessary rest that mama needs to get the hard work of labor done.

The most striking example of that from my personal experience was with babe #3. I woke to contractions at about 1 am. They slowly got stronger and closer. I went and ate breakfast and lunch, did some walking. Then about 12 pm the contractions slowed down to about every 30 to 45 minutes and during that time I got some much needed sleep. When I got up at about 3:30pm the contractions picked up again at about every 4 min. It was still 6 hours before that baby made her appearance. If I had been in the hospital and the contractions had slowed that way they would have wanted to give me pitocin. My body would have been shoved into overdrive and I would have been exhausted and probably sectioned for 'failure to progress'. So praise God I stayed home as long as I did.

Women, we must change the way birth is viewed. We must stop telling 'horror' stories. We must objectively consider what happened to us in labor and birth and be honest with ourselves and others. So, stop justifying the interventions that were unnecessary. If the OB induced you with no clear medical reason (and no, a 'big' baby doesn't count as a good reason, nor is being 40 weeks or even having 'low fluid') it was wrong. If the OB broke your water without a good reason, that was also wrong. If you were sectioned for 'failure to progress' and were stuck in a bed with an epidural that was most likely unnecessary. If you were sectioned because of a breech most likely that was wrong too. If you were sectioned after a previous c-section and no other reason it was unnecessary. If you were forbidden to eat or drink they were torturing you. Okay, so that last one is slightly hyperbolic, but you get the idea.

THINK ladies! PLEASE! For the sake of yourselves, your babies, your friends, your sisters, and your daughters. Let us stop the fear-mongering in birth.

Edward Clarence (Birth Story)

Let's see... I had been having prodromal labor, as usual, for at least a week. On Wed. (June 16) evening the intensity really started to ramp up but the contractions were still irregular. Slept pretty good that night and woke at about 4:30 am unable to sleep through the contractions anymore. Below is me that morning, my last belly pic at exactly 40 weeks. :) Emma, Sara, and I went for a walk that morning. Then I laid down and tried to rest a bit. The midwife, Leah, came over and we listened to the baby's heart. He was doing good and I still felt it was going to be awhile so Leah left and I tried to rest some more.

Chelsea and Hannah came over about 5:30 and took the kids out for a few hours. Matt and I rested some and the contractions got stronger but not really any closer together. When Chels and Hannah came back with the kids we all went for a walk. It was about 9, the sun was setting and there was a nice breeze. :) I was proud of Chelsea, despite her fear of pregnant ladies, she went along and didn't seem too creeped out during contractions. ;)

After our walk, Chelsea and Hannah and Cora went to get snacks. Matt went to get me something to eat. I called the midwife while Matt was gone. By the time Matt got back I knew it was getting really close. Contractions were closer and most definitely stronger, not much talking during them anymore. Matt and the boys filled up the pool.

The midwife arrived. We listened to the baby again and he was doing good. I put off getting in the pool for as long as I could. It was about 11:30 pm when I finally got in.

I was pushing a little through a few contractions. Then everything got a lot more intense and pushing wasn't an option, it was a compulsion! It only took about three contractions

for Edward to make his entrance. He was born at 12:30 am June 18. :D eta: He was born in the caul, the bag not breaking until he was completely born. :) All of the other kids were there, Except Kyla, she was on a plane. Sara was asleep in Chelsea's arms. Cora cut the umbilical cord.

The most beautiful sound in the world-baby's first cry! :D

Cuddling my new boy and delivering the placenta. Edward's color was just beautiful! Aren't those cheeks just the most wonderful rosy red?!

My beautiful little man!

A special thanks to my helpful photographers Hannah, Emma, and Cora! :D

P.S. Edward, like all our boys, is named after grandfathers. Edward was my father's dad's name and Clarence is my father-in-law's middle name.

At War With Myself.

I've been doing some reading. I read "Pushed" by Jennifer Block and am currently reading "Born in the USA" by Marsden Wagner MD.

Both of these books and the stories I hear from other women, what I've seen other women go through in birth and what I have experienced myself have convinced me that the maternity care in America is a travesty!

Women have been convinced by doctors that the traditional midwife and homebirth is dangerous, when in actuality obstetricians have ever been the enemy of the healthy woman and her baby. The book "Birth" by Tina Cassidy gives a good history of obstetrics. In the book, "Born in the USA" Wagner tells how obstetricians have been experimenting on women without their knowledge, much less informed consent, since there was such a thing as an obstetrician.

Now I know there are good OBs out there and that most of them do not really set out to harm women and babies, but the sad fact is that their practices and lack of scientific method do in fact kill women and babies and have permanently harmed many many more.

The experimental use of forceps, x-rays, scolopamine, thalidomide, cytotec, unnecessary cesarean sections, constant fetal monitoring, and excessive use of ultrasound, and scare tactics to get women to have babies on the OB's schedule. It is really disgusting. And what saddens me the most is how completely most women have swallowed the lies and continue to believe them even when confronted with the truth.

So, now you're wondering where the title of the post fits. Well here it is:

1. I hate abortion. I think the way it is performed is atrocious. I believe that babies ought to be safe from such brutality.
2. I believe a woman ought to be able to choose where and how to give birth and be trusted to make the best decision for herself and her unborn child.

These two things are in conflict, at least according to some courts. There have been numerous cases where women have been court ordered to undergo a cesarean to 'save the baby'. Just Google "court ordered cesarean" (link to another blog post) and you will see many articles and blogs about the subject.
I believe it is dangerous to confer rights on the unborn for that reason. The issue of abortion and birth choice are inextricably intertwined, at least from a legal standpoint.

I find myself in an uncomfortable place. I want elective abortions to be done away with. The idea that a woman would willingly subject her baby to the torture of an abortion is just awful. But, I also want every woman to be able to choose where and how she births her child. The latter is in danger if pro-life advocates get their way and rights are conferred on the unborn.

I can see the difference, but that is because I believe certain things. I have a moral code that tells me that an unborn baby is indeed a life. Others do not believe the same. They have a different moral code than me. I suppose that answers my dilemma. I have no right to use the government to force others to believe, or even act as though the believe, the same way I do.

It was the last chapter of "Pushed" that really got me thinking about this. Reading about women who were forced in to major surgery for dubious reasons just sickened me. One woman was actually at the point of giving birth vaginally and the OB still cut her open!! It angers me to think that because some doctor thinks he knows better than the mother what is best for her and her baby the woman, and the baby, were subjected to the risks of major surgery. Of course I suppose that many people don't see cesarean as it really is, major abdominal surgery that carries great risk to mother and baby and even more risk in the event of a repeat cesarean.

Well, that's all for now.

I will be blogging later about the maternity system in America, it really is awful, but I just had to get this little bit out.

Birthing

Okay so I am pregnant again and reading about pregnancy and birth and I've had a few conversations about the subject so I thought I'd blog about it. :P

Let's start with my recommended reading list! :)

Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read- a wonderful book! Some of the medical advice is outdated (it was written in the 1930s) but he gives such a great perspective on birth!

Birth by Tina Cassidy- Not for the squeamish but a wealth of information about the history of obstetrics and midwifery and statistics on birth complications, interventions and outcomes. Every woman should read it, preferably before she has kids.

Hello Baby! by Liz Rockwell- A book to read to little kids who are expecting a sibling. Simple, factual information. And my personal favorite part is that the mom in the story breastfeeds! :)

A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson- Don't just look at the pictures! The photos are wonderful but the written information, even though he is an evolutionist, is astounding! It will make you marvel at the miraculousness of pregnancy, birth, and the human body. It truly is a wonder that a woman can even get pregnant much less carry and give birth to a baby!

I know there are others out there that are great but those are my favorites.

Now here's my disclaimer before I get to the rest:

*I know that there are times when interventions are truly necessary and that there are some women who do indeed need a doctor's care. I am glad that there are doctors who can perform c-sections when they are needed. And I am thankful that there are hospitals to provide for that care. So, if you've had to have some procedure done please do not be offended by what I will say hereafter. Do consider though if the intervention was truly warranted and be honest enough with yourself to admit if you let yourself be bullied into a bad decision.*

Some history...

I have given birth seven times. I am currently pregnant for the ninth time. I had one ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of my left fallopian tube. I've had an epidural that did not work. Two inductions. Two posterior births. Two home births. Four births with no drugs at all. One water birth. One induction was also a posterior. Water Birth was at home.

First baby was the epi that didn't work. A very poorly managed birth on all counts. Ended up a forceps delivery which has left my eldest with a very bad neck. Think I was preeclamptic that time but wasn't diagnosed because I have a very low 'normal' bp. Had a rather pompous OB who disregarded my concerns and opinions because I was so young.

Second baby was an induction. Had a great OB though and that induction was nothing like the second one. Had one dose of pain meds that time so I felt groggy after the birth.

Third baby was a good hospital birth. Same OB I had with babe #2 and she let me forgo the IV and let me do intermittent monitoring (20 minutes on 40 minutes off) and was up for me squatting during delivery-which I did not do. I wasn't up to moving around when it came time but she did remember to ask if I wanted the squat bar! Loved that OB!

Fourth baby was a home birth with a midwife. Delivered on hands and knees with that one which was perfect since we had a bit of shoulder dystocia with him. The body is amazing when you listen to it, it just knows! :)

Fifth baby was a failed unassisted home birth. Nothing was wrong except that he was posterior and hubby freaked out at the end and called 911 and we went to the hospital. He was presenting weird he had his head coned out to the left. It looked ridiculous! Really wish I had pics of that.

Sixth was an induction at the hospital. That induction was horrid! He was also posterior. That experience made me firm in my resolve to never have another baby in the hospital if I can help it!

Seventh was a water birth at home. A wonderful birth where a few of the kids were present. The three year old stayed up with me all night-baby was born at 4 am- and didn't get grouchy at all and was all love for his baby sister!

Eighth will be at home, probably a water birth again.

There is this wonderful euphoria after giving birth that women who are medicated or have epidurals completely miss out on. It is like being high, but in a good, natural way. I'd not use pain meds again unless I was having to have surgery.

I have learned that a woman's body can and will give birth in its own good time and the stress of a 'due date' is really counter productive. I have learned that labor can start and stop and even be impossibly long with no visible results for days or even weeks and then get going and you have a baby in a short time. I have learned that birth is not painful, only perceived as painful because of fear and programming.

I am saddened when I hear of women getting epidurals and having c-sections and always wonder if it was really necessary. I've watched so many "Baby Story" shows where they scare a woman into a c/s because of 'failure to progress' when she's only been in labor 8 hours and its her first baby. Or because of shoulder dystocia.Or because of a previous c/s. Or because of a breech presentation. Or because, the absolutely most ridiculous, of a posterior presentation.

These women, who allow themselves to be run through the baby mill of the hospital and don't question the procedures done, make me sad. They take the doctor's word that pitocin is safe, when it actually significantly increases the risk of complications (ie: uterine rupture, placental abruption, c/s etc.) and other interventions (that lead to still more interventions). And honestly they are not fully informed of the risks. If they were, far fewer would allow it to be done to them. I know I wouldn't have!

I say that with compassion because I too was led to do things that were not in my or the baby's best interests.

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard women say, "I could never have a home birth!" or "Give me the drugs (or at least that sentiment)". They rob themselves and demean the power that is within them! They unwittingly allow things that put themselves and their babies at risk. A woman's body is designed to give birth-barring any physiological problem of course. Contemplate the wonder of it! It is awe-inspiring!

I am not better or stronger or braver than any other woman because I choose to have home births or unmedicated births. I just know, from experience, that the natural way is far and away the better way! The rewards that come from the 'sorrow' of childbirth are beyond explanation.

I suppose I should discuss some of the reasons why interventions are considered necessary and then proceed to tear down those misconceptions! ;) I will be brief and give linkies.

Let's see...where to start. I guess I'll start with the scary ones!

Amniotic fluid embolism. That one just sounds scary! And it is. The mortality rate for it is as high as 86%. So if you get it you are most likely dead, whether you are at home or at the hospital. It is also very rare-as low as 1 in 80,000 births- and most of the risk factors are things that would only be happening at the hospital (pitocin-which doubles your risk of it, c/s, placental abruption). So I'm not worried about that one.

Placental abruption. This would require emergency care. But even at the hospital they will observe for hours before deciding if a c/s is necessary. Pitocin increases your risk for this as well. There is time to get to the hospital since there are signs that it is happening so I don't worry about this one with a home birth either.

Uterine rupture. Definitely a scary one. But again being in the hospital increases the chances of it happening, pitocin again being the culprit. This can cause massive hemorrhaging and definitely would require a surgeon. Still, the risk is small and would not affect my decision to birth at home.
Placenta Previa. This is present during pregnancy and would be diagnosed long before delivery and one would have to be in the hospital having a c/s.

Preeclampsia. Plenty of time to seek care for this one. It is largely preventable through diet.

Postpartum hemorrhage. I am considered higher risk for this but I've never had a problem-except after the first baby and that was only because of a burst blood vessel (actually more like a ripped vessel because of the forceps delivery). I nurse my babies within minutes of birth and that releases oxytocin that stimulates uterine contractions that stop the blood flow. A good midwife, and I have an excellent one, will recognize the signs and call for transport.

Preterm labor. Well...depending on how early babe is would determine my course of action there. I would probably defer to the midwife's judgement on this one. If midwife says go to the hospital I'd go. And I'm not worried. I don't have babies early.

Shoulder dystocia. Midwives are trained to deal with this and with good positioning it really isn't as scary as the OBs make it sound.

Nuchal cord. Not too big a deal a simple manoeuvre of pulling it over the baby's head or delivering babe through the loop. Don't think I've ever had that though. One did have the cord around his wrist though.

Breech presentation. Unless it is a transverse lie it is not a problem for a midwife. Midwives, unlike doctors, are taught how to deliver breech babies. And after watching videos of so many unassisted breach deliveries it really doesn't worry me at all!

Oh almost forgot one...

CPD (cranio pelvic disproportion)- really impossible if the mother has grown with proper nutrition.

I suppose I will add a blurb about the question of safety for the baby. In the hospital they use constant fetal monitoring (cfm) but that is mostly a CYB thing. There is no evidence that it helps babies have better outcomes actually the opposite is true. The ACOG (not an organization I have very much respect for in general) even admits that. For a healthy woman with a normal labor the cfm leads to more unnecessary interventions.

And what about if the baby is having problems after birth, like breathing difficulty. Midwives are trained in resuscitation and know the signs that would cause concern. There is time to get to the hospital with those things as well. With the exception of some very rare and serious congenital defects there is no reason to worry about the baby any more at home than at the hospital.

I like being at home with baby so much more. I really hated how often and for how long they would take the baby away for assessments at the hospital. I know the nurses were so ready for me to leave because I called every 10 minutes to see if they were done with the baby. The hospitals where I have the older girls were better in that respect than the hospitals here. "Rooming in" there actually meant that the baby did not leave your room at all unless there was a serious problem. Emma was under bili lights for 4 days and was in my room the whole time! Not the case here and it was very frustrating and tiring to have to walk to the nursery when Gilbert was in the hospital for jaundice.

I think that covers the problems that people are usually talking about when they ask if I am scared of something bad happening.

I wish more women would question the status quo when it comes to childbirth. Not doing so has led to some terrible abuses of power by OBs. X-rays. Scopolamine. Thalidomide. And abuses still happen under the guise of protecting babies and mothers. Consider that the US has one of the highest c/s rates in the developed world. So often there is no good reason for it. I found this lovely little tidbit on this website, "Up to 77% of women for whom the indication for cesarean delivery was a non-progressive labor (sometimes diagnosed as cephalopelvic disproportion or CPD) and who tried labor again, had a VBAC for a subsequent birth. Approximately one-third of these women gave birth to babies that were larger than their previous "CPD" baby" A non progressive labor is probably just prodromal labor or the woman is stressed and her body has stopped labor (the 'fight or flight' defense mechanism). And the best cure for that is to let mama rest and destress, have some dinner and a back rub without being prodded and monitored.

This got rather long. Oh well! :P

I love giving birth! Not so fond of those first months or last weeks of pregnancy or the sleepless nights after but I do love having babies! LOL I also love the sweetness of newborns. Their little hands and feet. The way the breastfed baby roots when he is hungry. The newborn cry is so sweet. Their first smile, laugh, and all the other firsts. I love that feeling, after the baby is born and everyone has gone away to leave me alone to get to know my new little one, the wonder and awe that I brought a life, a soul into the world! Ahhhh! Okay, now I'm ready to face the next five or six months of discomfort with pleasure at the prospect of that wonderful moment!