I have had a migraine for nearly three weeks. It is worse at times but almost constantly at a point where I think I cannot stand it.
This has been an exercise of faith. I have managed, by the grace of God, to not become grouchy or to hide myself away. I have played with, read to, and talked to the kids. I have still made dinner and taken care of hubby when he got home. I take no credit for this. I feel like laying in bed and doing nothing. It hurts my head to do anything, of course it still hurts if I'm doing nothing so... I know that it has only been Christ in me keeping my body moving and my attitude in check.
I have had migraines before. This time it started different though. I had never had the visual symptoms that precedes them. It was so weird! The 'blurry' spot in the middle with the flashy colors around the edge. I called the optometrist and went in. He told me that after the visual symptoms subsided I could expect a bad headache...he wasn't exaggerating!! I am glad that I went to the eye doc, that only cost $38 dollars instead of hundreds in the ER! I was a little freaked out by the visual symptoms.
The doc did tell me that I should rest and take the rest of the day off. I laughed! How can I take a day off? I am a homeschooling mom of 7! And with a husband working himself to death in his new business? A day off? Maybe in about 20 years! LOL
Anyway, I found the grace of God and his gift of faith to be sufficient to get me through the last three weeks. I am not saying that I haven't felt like locking myself in my room...after gagging and tying up the kids...but I have trusted God to do the work in me and to help me do what I must do as a mother and wife.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
None Dare Call It Conspiracy
Excerpt from Gary Allen's 1971 book None Dare Call It Conspiracy, which can be read online in its entirety at: http://www.whale.to/b/allen_b1.html
Our Founding Fathers revolted against the near-total government of the English monarchy. But they knew that having no government at all would lead to chaos. So they set up a Constitutional Republic with a very limited government. They knew that men prospered in freedom. Although the free enterprise system is not mentioned specifically in the Constitution, it is the only one which can exist under a Constitutional Republic. All collectivist systems require power in government which the Constitution did not grant.
Our Founding Fathers had no intention of allowing the government to become an instrument to steal the fruit of one man's labor and give it to another who had not earned it. Our government was to be one of severely limited powers. Thomas Jefferson said: "In questions of power then let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the 'Constitution." Jefferson knew that if the government were not enslaved, people soon would be.It was Jefferson's view that government governs best which governs least. Our forefathers established this country with the very least possible amount of 'government. Although they lived in an age before automobiles, electric lights and television, they understood human nature and its relation to political systems far better than do most Americans today. Times change, technology changes, but principles are eternal.
Primarily, government was to provide for national defense and to establish a court system. But we have burst the chains that Jefferson spoke of and for many years now we have been moving leftward across the political spectrum toward collectivist total government. Every proposal by our political leaders (including some which are supposed to have the very opposite effect, such as Nixon's revenue sharing proposal) carries us further leftward to centralized government. This is not because socialism is inevitable. It is no more inevitable than Pharaohism. It is largely the result of clever planning and patient gradualism.
Since all Communists and their Insider bosses are waging a constant struggle for SOCIALISM, let us define that term. Socialism is usually defined as government ownership and/or control over the basic means of production and distribution of goods and services. When analyzed this means government control over everything, including you. All controls are "people" controls. If the government controls these areas it can eventually do just exactly as Marx set out to do-destroy the right to private property, eliminate the family and wipe out religion.
We are being socialized in America and everybody knows it. if we had a chance to sit down and have a cup of coffee with the man in the street that we have been interviewing, he might say: "You know, the one thing I can never figure out is why all these very, very wealthy people like the Kennedys, the Fords, the Rockefellers and others are for socialism. Why are the super-rich for socialism? Don't they have the most to lose? I take a look at my bank account and compare it with Nelson Rockefeller's and it seems funny that I'm against socialism and he's out promoting it." Or is it funny? In reality, there is a vast difference between what the promoters define as socialism and what it is in actual practice.
The idea that socialism is a share-the-wealth program is strictly a confidence game to get the people to surrender their freedom to an all-powerful collectivist government. While the insiders tell us we are building a paradise on earth, we are actually constructing a jail for ourselves.
Doesn't it strike you as strange that some of the individuals pushing hardest for socialism have their own personal wealth protected in family trusts and tax-free foundations? Men like Rockefeller, Ford and Kennedy are for every socialist program known to man which will increase your taxes. Yet they pay little, if anything, in taxes themselves. An article published by the North American Newspaper Alliance in August of 1967 tells how the' Rockefellers pay practically no income taxes despite their vast wealth. The article reveals that One of the Rockefellers paid the grand total of $685 personal income tax during a recent year. The Kennedys have their Chicago Merchandise Mart, their mansions, yachts, 'planes, etc., all owned by their myriads of family foundations and trusts. Taxes are for peons! Yet hypocrites like Rockefeller, Ford and Kennedy pose as great champions of the "downtrodden." If they were really concerned about the poor, rather than using socialism as a means of' achieving personal political power, they would divest themselves of their own fortunes. There is no law which prevents them from giving away their own fortunes to the poverty stricken. Shouldn't these men set all example? And practice what they preach? If they advocate sharing the wealth, shouldn't they start with their own instead of that of the middle class which pays almost all the taxes? Why don't Nelson Rockefeller and Henry Ford II give away all their wealth, retaining only enough to place themselves at the national average? Can't you imagine Teddy Kennedy giving up his mansion, airplane and yacht and moving into a $25,000 home' with a $20,000' mortgage like the rest of us?
We are usually told that this clique of super-rich are socialists because they have a guilt complex over wealth they inherited and did not earn. Again, they could relieve these supposed guilt complexes simply by divesting themselves of their unearned wealth. There' are doubtless many wealthy do-gooders who have been given a guilt complex by their college professors, but that doesn't explain the actions of Insiders like the Rockefellers, Fords or Kennedys. All their actions betray them as power seekers.
But the Kennedys, Rockefellers and their super-rich confederates are not being hypocrites in advocating socialism. It appears to be a contradiction for the super-rich to work for socialism and the destruction of free enterprise. In reality it is not.Our problem is that most of us believe socialism is what the socialists want us to believe it is-a share-the wealth program. That is the theory. But is that how it works? Let us examine the only Socialist countries according to the Socialist definition of the word extant in the world today. These are the Communist countries. The Communists themselves refer to these as Socialist countries, as in the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Here in the reality of socialism you have a tiny oligarchial clique at the top, usually numbering no more than three percent of the total population, controlling the total wealth, total production and the very lives of the other ninety-seven percent.
Certainly even the most naive observe that Mr. Brezhnev doesn't live like one of the poor peasants out on the great Russian steppes. But, according to socialist theory, he is supposed to do just that!If one understands that socialism is not a share-the Wealth program, but is in reality a method to consolidate and control the wealth, then the seeming paradox of super-rich men promoting socialism becomes no paradox at all. Instead it becomes the logical, even the perfect tool of power-seeking megalomaniacs. Communism, or more accurately, socialism, is not a movement of the downtrodden masses, but of the economic elite. The plan of the conspirator Insiders then is to socialize the United States, not to Communize it.
Our Founding Fathers revolted against the near-total government of the English monarchy. But they knew that having no government at all would lead to chaos. So they set up a Constitutional Republic with a very limited government. They knew that men prospered in freedom. Although the free enterprise system is not mentioned specifically in the Constitution, it is the only one which can exist under a Constitutional Republic. All collectivist systems require power in government which the Constitution did not grant.
Our Founding Fathers had no intention of allowing the government to become an instrument to steal the fruit of one man's labor and give it to another who had not earned it. Our government was to be one of severely limited powers. Thomas Jefferson said: "In questions of power then let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the 'Constitution." Jefferson knew that if the government were not enslaved, people soon would be.It was Jefferson's view that government governs best which governs least. Our forefathers established this country with the very least possible amount of 'government. Although they lived in an age before automobiles, electric lights and television, they understood human nature and its relation to political systems far better than do most Americans today. Times change, technology changes, but principles are eternal.
Primarily, government was to provide for national defense and to establish a court system. But we have burst the chains that Jefferson spoke of and for many years now we have been moving leftward across the political spectrum toward collectivist total government. Every proposal by our political leaders (including some which are supposed to have the very opposite effect, such as Nixon's revenue sharing proposal) carries us further leftward to centralized government. This is not because socialism is inevitable. It is no more inevitable than Pharaohism. It is largely the result of clever planning and patient gradualism.
Since all Communists and their Insider bosses are waging a constant struggle for SOCIALISM, let us define that term. Socialism is usually defined as government ownership and/or control over the basic means of production and distribution of goods and services. When analyzed this means government control over everything, including you. All controls are "people" controls. If the government controls these areas it can eventually do just exactly as Marx set out to do-destroy the right to private property, eliminate the family and wipe out religion.
We are being socialized in America and everybody knows it. if we had a chance to sit down and have a cup of coffee with the man in the street that we have been interviewing, he might say: "You know, the one thing I can never figure out is why all these very, very wealthy people like the Kennedys, the Fords, the Rockefellers and others are for socialism. Why are the super-rich for socialism? Don't they have the most to lose? I take a look at my bank account and compare it with Nelson Rockefeller's and it seems funny that I'm against socialism and he's out promoting it." Or is it funny? In reality, there is a vast difference between what the promoters define as socialism and what it is in actual practice.
The idea that socialism is a share-the-wealth program is strictly a confidence game to get the people to surrender their freedom to an all-powerful collectivist government. While the insiders tell us we are building a paradise on earth, we are actually constructing a jail for ourselves.
Doesn't it strike you as strange that some of the individuals pushing hardest for socialism have their own personal wealth protected in family trusts and tax-free foundations? Men like Rockefeller, Ford and Kennedy are for every socialist program known to man which will increase your taxes. Yet they pay little, if anything, in taxes themselves. An article published by the North American Newspaper Alliance in August of 1967 tells how the' Rockefellers pay practically no income taxes despite their vast wealth. The article reveals that One of the Rockefellers paid the grand total of $685 personal income tax during a recent year. The Kennedys have their Chicago Merchandise Mart, their mansions, yachts, 'planes, etc., all owned by their myriads of family foundations and trusts. Taxes are for peons! Yet hypocrites like Rockefeller, Ford and Kennedy pose as great champions of the "downtrodden." If they were really concerned about the poor, rather than using socialism as a means of' achieving personal political power, they would divest themselves of their own fortunes. There is no law which prevents them from giving away their own fortunes to the poverty stricken. Shouldn't these men set all example? And practice what they preach? If they advocate sharing the wealth, shouldn't they start with their own instead of that of the middle class which pays almost all the taxes? Why don't Nelson Rockefeller and Henry Ford II give away all their wealth, retaining only enough to place themselves at the national average? Can't you imagine Teddy Kennedy giving up his mansion, airplane and yacht and moving into a $25,000 home' with a $20,000' mortgage like the rest of us?
We are usually told that this clique of super-rich are socialists because they have a guilt complex over wealth they inherited and did not earn. Again, they could relieve these supposed guilt complexes simply by divesting themselves of their unearned wealth. There' are doubtless many wealthy do-gooders who have been given a guilt complex by their college professors, but that doesn't explain the actions of Insiders like the Rockefellers, Fords or Kennedys. All their actions betray them as power seekers.
But the Kennedys, Rockefellers and their super-rich confederates are not being hypocrites in advocating socialism. It appears to be a contradiction for the super-rich to work for socialism and the destruction of free enterprise. In reality it is not.Our problem is that most of us believe socialism is what the socialists want us to believe it is-a share-the wealth program. That is the theory. But is that how it works? Let us examine the only Socialist countries according to the Socialist definition of the word extant in the world today. These are the Communist countries. The Communists themselves refer to these as Socialist countries, as in the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Here in the reality of socialism you have a tiny oligarchial clique at the top, usually numbering no more than three percent of the total population, controlling the total wealth, total production and the very lives of the other ninety-seven percent.
Certainly even the most naive observe that Mr. Brezhnev doesn't live like one of the poor peasants out on the great Russian steppes. But, according to socialist theory, he is supposed to do just that!If one understands that socialism is not a share-the Wealth program, but is in reality a method to consolidate and control the wealth, then the seeming paradox of super-rich men promoting socialism becomes no paradox at all. Instead it becomes the logical, even the perfect tool of power-seeking megalomaniacs. Communism, or more accurately, socialism, is not a movement of the downtrodden masses, but of the economic elite. The plan of the conspirator Insiders then is to socialize the United States, not to Communize it.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sara's weight update
I saw the LC again today. This time the differance between her before and after feeding weight was 2.8 oz. That is up .8oz from the last time. And she had gained 7 oz since last Monday!
Our latest canyon hike
It was definitely filled with excitement! And I must praise the Lord! We had an absolutely gorgeous day! The temperature was perfect, the sky gloriously blue, and no wind!
Look at that blue sky!!
Look at that blue sky!!
We went down a trail we'd never been to before. The creek was running along it and the kids found a small log lying over the trail and they went over it, well the older ones did. Gilbert had a time getting across it. I had to help him back over and he slipped off then and almost went in the water. I had him though so he made it safely. 
Then Cora climbed up a hill and couldn't figure out how to get down so I left the baby and the other kids with Kyla and went up after Cora. Well, Emma, Ellis, Gilbert, and Fuzz followed me. We got down another way than we went up. We saw a cave from the top, but it was too far to trek in the limited time we had so we'll be going there next time. Exploring is so much fun!
On our way back to the van we stopped because everyone was hot and sweaty and they wanted to wade in the water to cool off. The water was only ankle deep in this one spot so I let the kids take off their shoes and roll up their pants and wade. Well Wes found a deep hole and got dunked. Thankfully Kyla can be very brave when need be and she went after him and got him before the current swept him away. Wes is fine, he was a little scared naturally, but he recovered quickly.
Wes after his dunk
When we got back to the van there were a couple of bees inside. I had left the windows cracked, not such a good idea. Emma was near hysterics! LOL I got two bees waved out and then hurried the kids in. Then Fuzz would not jump in the van so I had to pick her up and get her in. there were bees everywhere! Finally Kyla and I both got in, two bees snuck in with us. I got one waved out and Cora smashed the other. While everyone was getting buckled in their seats there were bees buzzing all around the outside of the van. I won't be leaving the windows down again! No one got stung, thankfully.
We were all worn out, but a good worn out feeling.
I'll have to add pics later...
Cool rock!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My farewell statement to President George W. Bush
Dear President Bush,
I can sincerely thank you for your service to our country in the office of the President of these United States of America. I know it must be difficult to have your every decision questioned and never be able to make everyone happy. I do believe that you have done what you believed to be the right things to protect your nation. I wish you well in your life after you leave the White House.
ME
P.S. To Mrs. Bush, your service is appreciated as well. Being the help meet to the Commander in Chief cannot be easy.
I can sincerely thank you for your service to our country in the office of the President of these United States of America. I know it must be difficult to have your every decision questioned and never be able to make everyone happy. I do believe that you have done what you believed to be the right things to protect your nation. I wish you well in your life after you leave the White House.
ME
P.S. To Mrs. Bush, your service is appreciated as well. Being the help meet to the Commander in Chief cannot be easy.
Monday, January 19, 2009
My late night political ramblings
Today I got in a discussion about Bush commuting the sentences of agents Ramos and Compean. I am glad he did that, but I am far from thinking that he did it with the purely correct motive. It was a political move. The people wanted it and he did what 'we the people' wanted.
I have never been so interested in politics, to my discredit, as I have been this election season. It was the bailout that really energized me to begin looking into things for myself. What I have learned has made me disgusted with politics and politicians and with the people who vote for them.
One thing I have learned is that the two party system we have now is horrid! It does not represent the people at all. We need options outside of the Reps or Dems. The problem is that people continue to swallow the line that, "voting for a third party is wasting your vote". And they are correct, as long as people think that it will be true.
Another thing I have learned is that most people are too ill informed to make a good decision about who to vote for. They are either Republicans or Democrats and the really humorous thing is that the two groups think that the parties are different! Well, maybe that isn't so funny.
I have also learned that the news media chooses our candidates for the Republican and Democratic parties. It all has to do with how much MSM (mainstream media) coverage the candidates get as to who gets their parties' nomination. And since the MSM is where most people get their news and on what they base their decision for who they will vote for, basically the media chooses our elected officials. That is not funny at all!
I have learned, much to my chagrin, that I was duped. I voted for Bush the first time he ran and I would have voted for him again, but I missed voting in that election- I was sick election day. I was, like many Christians I know, a one or two issue voter. I could not vote for someone who was pro-choice or who supported gay marriage.
I have learned that the Republicans 'pro-life' stance is really just a political talking point. A way to get votes. It was not until 1980 that either political party made a statement about where they stood. The Democrats that year made a clear pro-choice statement. Interesting to note that the same year the Southern Baptist Convention made a pro-life statement when previously it had been pro-choice. With that one political decision on the Dems part and the subsequent decision of the Reps effectively moved a large part of the Democratic voting base, which was largely Catholic, to the Republicans. This is a good article on that issue.
I have learned that the Patriot Act, larglely ignored by 'conservatives', is in direct violation of Constitutional protections of individual rights. That along with Bush's many signing statements has effectively set up a lovely little dictatorship for our new POTUS. That scares me for my country. Scares me very much.
I have learned that it is the rare politician who has nothing to hide and that will stand up against his/her party and do the right thing for the people they represent. Ron Paul earned my eternal respect when he was asked why he would not support McCain since McCain had won the Reps nomination. Paul said, basically, "Why would I? I didn't think he was right during the primaries and I don't think he is right now.". He unabashedly stood for what he believed and refused to 'play ball', which is why he will never be the Republican nominee for the POTUS. And that is sad.
Well that is all the rambling I have energy for tonight. I did warn you that it was rambling, this could have been much longer though so be thankful I am tired! LOL
I have never been so interested in politics, to my discredit, as I have been this election season. It was the bailout that really energized me to begin looking into things for myself. What I have learned has made me disgusted with politics and politicians and with the people who vote for them.
One thing I have learned is that the two party system we have now is horrid! It does not represent the people at all. We need options outside of the Reps or Dems. The problem is that people continue to swallow the line that, "voting for a third party is wasting your vote". And they are correct, as long as people think that it will be true.
Another thing I have learned is that most people are too ill informed to make a good decision about who to vote for. They are either Republicans or Democrats and the really humorous thing is that the two groups think that the parties are different! Well, maybe that isn't so funny.
I have also learned that the news media chooses our candidates for the Republican and Democratic parties. It all has to do with how much MSM (mainstream media) coverage the candidates get as to who gets their parties' nomination. And since the MSM is where most people get their news and on what they base their decision for who they will vote for, basically the media chooses our elected officials. That is not funny at all!
I have learned, much to my chagrin, that I was duped. I voted for Bush the first time he ran and I would have voted for him again, but I missed voting in that election- I was sick election day. I was, like many Christians I know, a one or two issue voter. I could not vote for someone who was pro-choice or who supported gay marriage.
I have learned that the Republicans 'pro-life' stance is really just a political talking point. A way to get votes. It was not until 1980 that either political party made a statement about where they stood. The Democrats that year made a clear pro-choice statement. Interesting to note that the same year the Southern Baptist Convention made a pro-life statement when previously it had been pro-choice. With that one political decision on the Dems part and the subsequent decision of the Reps effectively moved a large part of the Democratic voting base, which was largely Catholic, to the Republicans. This is a good article on that issue.
I have learned that the Patriot Act, larglely ignored by 'conservatives', is in direct violation of Constitutional protections of individual rights. That along with Bush's many signing statements has effectively set up a lovely little dictatorship for our new POTUS. That scares me for my country. Scares me very much.
I have learned that it is the rare politician who has nothing to hide and that will stand up against his/her party and do the right thing for the people they represent. Ron Paul earned my eternal respect when he was asked why he would not support McCain since McCain had won the Reps nomination. Paul said, basically, "Why would I? I didn't think he was right during the primaries and I don't think he is right now.". He unabashedly stood for what he believed and refused to 'play ball', which is why he will never be the Republican nominee for the POTUS. And that is sad.
Well that is all the rambling I have energy for tonight. I did warn you that it was rambling, this could have been much longer though so be thankful I am tired! LOL
Friday, January 16, 2009
I found something Sara likes!
CHILI! yes she likes chili!
I only gave her a tiny bit, but she wanted more! After all the sweet yummy stuff I have tried to tempt her with she likes chili!
I know chili is not an ideal first food for babies, but when you have a picky little stinker what can you do?! I am not one to start solids this early in general, the earliest any of my other breastfed babies had food was 9 mos, I usually wait until after a year. Sara isn't gaining weight though so I need to get some extra calories into her somehow. She is absolutely not interested in any of the other things I have tried.
I am hoping that the fenugreek will help my milk supply and that it is not the cause of the terrible migraine I've had since yesterday. I need to be pumping too but I don't get along with the pump very well. :P
I only gave her a tiny bit, but she wanted more! After all the sweet yummy stuff I have tried to tempt her with she likes chili!
I know chili is not an ideal first food for babies, but when you have a picky little stinker what can you do?! I am not one to start solids this early in general, the earliest any of my other breastfed babies had food was 9 mos, I usually wait until after a year. Sara isn't gaining weight though so I need to get some extra calories into her somehow. She is absolutely not interested in any of the other things I have tried.
I am hoping that the fenugreek will help my milk supply and that it is not the cause of the terrible migraine I've had since yesterday. I need to be pumping too but I don't get along with the pump very well. :P
Monday, January 12, 2009
Update on Sara's weight gain.
Well, I just got back from the LC's office. Apparently it is just a supply issue. The weight showed that Sara was only getting about 2 oz. So the LC suggested upping my dose of fenugreek. I had only been taking it once a day and she said to take it three times a day. I feel bad. I wish I'd been paying more attention... I have a new appreciation for moms who have supply problems. I never have before and this is discouraging.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Be Kind to Everyone...
You never know what turmoil their soul may be in.
A man in our church took his life early this week. Such a shock. My first reaction when I heard the news was that is was some sick joke. It could NOT be true! Him? Why? He always seemed so happy. Not that I knew him well, but he was always pleasant. Last night at church I was hoping that it would turn out to be a mistake. It was really someone else. It just could not be true.
I cannot imagine how his wife and kids feel. How awful for them. I have prayed for them almost non-stop since I heard. It was the thought I woke up with. I pray that God will comfort them. I pray that they will seek Him and not turn away. I pray no one tells them something that will only cause more grief.
Suicide. I heard someone say once that suicide is purely selfish. I believe that is generally true, but not always. I have also heard that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in your brain and if left untreated can lead someone to commit suicide. I think that is backward. I think that it is turmoil of the spirit that leads to the physical side of depression. Something goes wrong in the spirit and the body is affected. Proverbs 18:14, "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?"
I know that I was not being selfish in my determination to take my life. I had become convinced that it would be better for my family if I was gone. The devil had worked me over pretty good. I am only here because of God's grace and a wonderful husband.
I know that my spirit is where the problem started. The physical and mental symptoms came later. I dwelt on negative things and it poisoned my soul. But that is another story.
To everyone, be kind, be patient to everyone. You cannot know what they may be dealing with in their spirit. And do not think that the person who is suffering so is weaker than you. The devil is walking 'about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour'. The wicked one knows just where and when to attack. Have compassion.
To the one who the devil is after, tell someone. Your pastor, your spouse, a friend, a stranger. Just tell someone. We in the church are supposed to help each other and 'bear one another's burdens', but we cannot do that if we don't know you have a burden. You are not alone. Someone will understand. Do not suffer and toil under a load you were not meant to bear. Tell someone. Seek counsel and help. KNOW that God does love you and he has a plan. He has given you a life that only you can live. No problem is too big for God. He is the Counselor, the Great Physician, he knows the cure for your problem.
A man in our church took his life early this week. Such a shock. My first reaction when I heard the news was that is was some sick joke. It could NOT be true! Him? Why? He always seemed so happy. Not that I knew him well, but he was always pleasant. Last night at church I was hoping that it would turn out to be a mistake. It was really someone else. It just could not be true.
I cannot imagine how his wife and kids feel. How awful for them. I have prayed for them almost non-stop since I heard. It was the thought I woke up with. I pray that God will comfort them. I pray that they will seek Him and not turn away. I pray no one tells them something that will only cause more grief.
Suicide. I heard someone say once that suicide is purely selfish. I believe that is generally true, but not always. I have also heard that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in your brain and if left untreated can lead someone to commit suicide. I think that is backward. I think that it is turmoil of the spirit that leads to the physical side of depression. Something goes wrong in the spirit and the body is affected. Proverbs 18:14, "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?"
I know that I was not being selfish in my determination to take my life. I had become convinced that it would be better for my family if I was gone. The devil had worked me over pretty good. I am only here because of God's grace and a wonderful husband.
I know that my spirit is where the problem started. The physical and mental symptoms came later. I dwelt on negative things and it poisoned my soul. But that is another story.
To everyone, be kind, be patient to everyone. You cannot know what they may be dealing with in their spirit. And do not think that the person who is suffering so is weaker than you. The devil is walking 'about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour'. The wicked one knows just where and when to attack. Have compassion.
To the one who the devil is after, tell someone. Your pastor, your spouse, a friend, a stranger. Just tell someone. We in the church are supposed to help each other and 'bear one another's burdens', but we cannot do that if we don't know you have a burden. You are not alone. Someone will understand. Do not suffer and toil under a load you were not meant to bear. Tell someone. Seek counsel and help. KNOW that God does love you and he has a plan. He has given you a life that only you can live. No problem is too big for God. He is the Counselor, the Great Physician, he knows the cure for your problem.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Use the Correct Word, Please!
I was going to wait to post this, but I have seen a few examples recently and it's bugging me so I must get it out.
I have been guilty of some of what I am fixing to rant about. In my defense I was only guilty because everyone else I knew made the same mistakes and no one ever bothered to correct me.
1) misuse of the word "nauseous". People say all the time, "I feel/felt/am nauseous." I certainly hope they don't really feel nauseous. Nauseous means: Causing nausea; sickening. What they mean is, "I feel/felt/am nauseated". Nauseated means: To feel or cause to feel nausea. To feel or cause to feel loathing or disgust. I have even heard medical professionals misuse the terms!
2) using the imaginary word "centrifical" force. Look it up. It does not exist. There is Centrifugal force: Moving or directed away from a center or axis. There is Centripetal force: Moving or directed toward a center or axis. There is no centrifical. I have heard people on science shows do this! *eyeroll*
3) using "irregardless" in place of "regardless". (I've never been guilty of this one! Iritates me to no end!)
4) using "I could care less." when one means "I couldn't care less". That one is pretty self explanatory and I hear it said wrong all the time. (Don't think I've ever done this either)
There are more...I just cannot think of them right now. I'll just add them as I remember them.
I have been guilty of some of what I am fixing to rant about. In my defense I was only guilty because everyone else I knew made the same mistakes and no one ever bothered to correct me.
1) misuse of the word "nauseous". People say all the time, "I feel/felt/am nauseous." I certainly hope they don't really feel nauseous. Nauseous means: Causing nausea; sickening. What they mean is, "I feel/felt/am nauseated". Nauseated means: To feel or cause to feel nausea. To feel or cause to feel loathing or disgust. I have even heard medical professionals misuse the terms!
2) using the imaginary word "centrifical" force. Look it up. It does not exist. There is Centrifugal force: Moving or directed away from a center or axis. There is Centripetal force: Moving or directed toward a center or axis. There is no centrifical. I have heard people on science shows do this! *eyeroll*
3) using "irregardless" in place of "regardless". (I've never been guilty of this one! Iritates me to no end!)
4) using "I could care less." when one means "I couldn't care less". That one is pretty self explanatory and I hear it said wrong all the time. (Don't think I've ever done this either)
There are more...I just cannot think of them right now. I'll just add them as I remember them.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sara's six month check
Sara is not gaining. She has gained only 3.2 oz in about five weeks. Not good. Otherwise she is doing well. She is right on developmentally. She looks healthy and is doing all of the things she should be (sitting up, scooting, grabbing, babbling, etc) she just isn't gaining. She only weighs 12 lbs and 6.4 oz.
I had to take her to the hospital for blood work and a UA. The blood work was quick, but it took all day to get a urine sample! I started out trying to get her to pee in the hat. Well she heard me say 'potty' to the ped and she peed on the way to the toilet. Little stink! :P Then the first bag leaked. The second and third bags got poo in them because Sara did what she never does and pooped in the middle of the day. TWICE! The fourth time I got her to go in the hat. Hallelujah! Hours at the hospital for two teaspoons of pee!
I have never had a problem with a baby gaining weight. I never start solids until about a year. My breastmilk has been enough for 5 other babies (Kyla was formula fed). The hard part is that Sara is NOT interested in eating food. I did get three bites of baby yogurt down her last night and two bites of cereal mixed with juice and yogurt. To do that I had to hold her head and give her fish lips. I also got her to drink two teaspoons of formula with a medicine spoon. I hate having to do that. The ped seems pretty confident that it is just that Sara needs more calories. The blood work and UA were just a double check.
I wouldn't worry if Sara was just small, all my babies have been. She's not just small though. She is at least 4 lbs (a huge difference for a baby) lighter than my next smallest baby was at her age and she was the biggest at birth (8 lbs 14 oz). I am not a big fan of the growth charts, I think they can cause undue stress, but when I see Sara's I cannot help but cringe. She started out at the 75th percentile and is now at the 3rd.
I had to take her to the hospital for blood work and a UA. The blood work was quick, but it took all day to get a urine sample! I started out trying to get her to pee in the hat. Well she heard me say 'potty' to the ped and she peed on the way to the toilet. Little stink! :P Then the first bag leaked. The second and third bags got poo in them because Sara did what she never does and pooped in the middle of the day. TWICE! The fourth time I got her to go in the hat. Hallelujah! Hours at the hospital for two teaspoons of pee!
I have never had a problem with a baby gaining weight. I never start solids until about a year. My breastmilk has been enough for 5 other babies (Kyla was formula fed). The hard part is that Sara is NOT interested in eating food. I did get three bites of baby yogurt down her last night and two bites of cereal mixed with juice and yogurt. To do that I had to hold her head and give her fish lips. I also got her to drink two teaspoons of formula with a medicine spoon. I hate having to do that. The ped seems pretty confident that it is just that Sara needs more calories. The blood work and UA were just a double check.
I wouldn't worry if Sara was just small, all my babies have been. She's not just small though. She is at least 4 lbs (a huge difference for a baby) lighter than my next smallest baby was at her age and she was the biggest at birth (8 lbs 14 oz). I am not a big fan of the growth charts, I think they can cause undue stress, but when I see Sara's I cannot help but cringe. She started out at the 75th percentile and is now at the 3rd.
This started at her four month check up when she'd only gained one pound in two months. From four to five months she gained a pound though. I had started taking fenugreek, marshmallow, alfalfa, vitamins, and DHA. I was pumping for awhile and trying to get Sara to nurse longer. I thought things were going well.
I am discouraged. The only words I could read on the scrips for the lab work yesterday was the word 'failure'. That is what I feel like. A big failure. I feel bad for not realizing that she wasn't gaining...
*The blood work came back fine, still waiting on the UA.*
Saturday, January 3, 2009
My rambling on pets
Fuzz, our mutt, has this habit of taking care of anyone who is sick. If someone is sick in our house she thinks it is her duty to watch over them. She will follow them wherever they go and will patiently lie by the sick one's side with the resigned air of a martyr going to the stake. Her presence at some one's side has become the litmus test of whether that person is really sick or not and a measure of how sick that person is. If you only have a cold or a headache you aren't sick enough to need her care. You must be really sick.
Her generosity in caring for the sick is wasted on my husband though. He was very sick a few weeks ago and Fuzz was really trying to be of use, but dh kept pushing her away. Poor dog. :P
We also have cats. I never really understood the phrase "the cat and mouse game", until we had Lynx (now gone and missed very much). I saw him with a mouse once. It was still alive. He would catch it and then hold it for a minute and then he would take his paw off of it and pretend to not be watching. The instant the mouse made a run for it he would reach out and snatch it back. I don't understand why Lynx would not just kill the poor thing. It did explain why I was always finding dead mice under furniture and appliances though. He would play with the mice long enough to injure them mortally but the mice would still have enough left to escape and hide only to die from their wounds.
Our current kitties, Myth and Buster (can you tell what my kids like to watch?), are much more humane. They only play with the mice after they are dead. Buster had one this morning that he brought in from outside. As gross as it is to see a cat playing with a dead mouse I am glad to have such a great mouser. We were hard put to it to keep the mice out of the house before Myth and Buster. I will save my mouse trap rant for another time. They both have some funny habits too. Myth loves to tear up anything cardboard. We had a time keeping her out of the Christmas presents! LOL Buster loves tearing up plastic bags, potatoes, and toilet paper.
Lastly, we have two fish. Or rather Kyla has two fish, bettas. I never thought fish had personalities or formed attachments to people. I have learned that they do. We left for a vacation in July 2007 and left Kyla's fish, only one at the time, with a friend. the whole time we were gone he refused to eat. Our friend was so worried that he would die. lol When we brought him home Kyla fed him and he gorged himself. Apparently Tormey is more attached to Kyla than I would have ever thought. Stormy is not as friendly. He is more reclusive.
We have had a few others over the years. Some more dear to us than others. I imagine we will have more as the years go by.
Her generosity in caring for the sick is wasted on my husband though. He was very sick a few weeks ago and Fuzz was really trying to be of use, but dh kept pushing her away. Poor dog. :P
We also have cats. I never really understood the phrase "the cat and mouse game", until we had Lynx (now gone and missed very much). I saw him with a mouse once. It was still alive. He would catch it and then hold it for a minute and then he would take his paw off of it and pretend to not be watching. The instant the mouse made a run for it he would reach out and snatch it back. I don't understand why Lynx would not just kill the poor thing. It did explain why I was always finding dead mice under furniture and appliances though. He would play with the mice long enough to injure them mortally but the mice would still have enough left to escape and hide only to die from their wounds.
Our current kitties, Myth and Buster (can you tell what my kids like to watch?), are much more humane. They only play with the mice after they are dead. Buster had one this morning that he brought in from outside. As gross as it is to see a cat playing with a dead mouse I am glad to have such a great mouser. We were hard put to it to keep the mice out of the house before Myth and Buster. I will save my mouse trap rant for another time. They both have some funny habits too. Myth loves to tear up anything cardboard. We had a time keeping her out of the Christmas presents! LOL Buster loves tearing up plastic bags, potatoes, and toilet paper.
Lastly, we have two fish. Or rather Kyla has two fish, bettas. I never thought fish had personalities or formed attachments to people. I have learned that they do. We left for a vacation in July 2007 and left Kyla's fish, only one at the time, with a friend. the whole time we were gone he refused to eat. Our friend was so worried that he would die. lol When we brought him home Kyla fed him and he gorged himself. Apparently Tormey is more attached to Kyla than I would have ever thought. Stormy is not as friendly. He is more reclusive.
We have had a few others over the years. Some more dear to us than others. I imagine we will have more as the years go by.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
My New Year's Resolution
I know that everyone makes a NYR to lose weight and that most do not follow through, but I find myself in need of such a resolution this year. I never thought I would be. I have never had a problem with my weight. I have always been thin without even trying. I am getting older I suppose. So, my plan is to have a moderate workout schedule and to cut out sugar and yeast.
I think I have put on about 20-25 lbs since Sara was born and I was not that thin to start with. I feel awful. I have nothing in my closet that really fits and I refuse to buy anything that I can fit into right now, it is just too depressing!
I suppose it would be more spiritual to say that I want to lose weight because being overweight is a bad testimony. After all, this body belongs to God and is the 'temple of the Holy Spirit'. I would be lying if I said that that did not figure into my desire to lose weight. It would also be a lie if I did not admit that I don't want to be fat for aesthetic reasons. If I do get victory over my love of sweets and my habit of laziness it will only be through the power of Christ in me. This body of mine does crave the chocolate and it does not like to work. Prayers would be appreciated! :)
I think I have put on about 20-25 lbs since Sara was born and I was not that thin to start with. I feel awful. I have nothing in my closet that really fits and I refuse to buy anything that I can fit into right now, it is just too depressing!
I suppose it would be more spiritual to say that I want to lose weight because being overweight is a bad testimony. After all, this body belongs to God and is the 'temple of the Holy Spirit'. I would be lying if I said that that did not figure into my desire to lose weight. It would also be a lie if I did not admit that I don't want to be fat for aesthetic reasons. If I do get victory over my love of sweets and my habit of laziness it will only be through the power of Christ in me. This body of mine does crave the chocolate and it does not like to work. Prayers would be appreciated! :)
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