Patience

It is absolutely vital in pregnancy. Especially at the end.

By 36 wks most women are pretty miserable, what with the constant need to pee, restlessness, swollen feet, baby who insists on putting his feet in mom's ribs or using mom's bladder as a punching bag, indigestion... you get the idea. It is about that time that many women begin to inquire about what they can do to 'get ready' so they don't go past their due date. Most OBs will begin weekly cervical exams to assess a woman's readiness and progress. Women will be gloriously happy when at 37 weeks the OB tells them that they are 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. Only to be disappointed when they still haven't had a baby at 41 weeks. Or they will be horribly depressed and fearful if at 39 weeks they are informed their cervix is still long and tight. So the quest to bring on labor begins.

Other women will tell of how they had sex twice a day, used castor oil, drank wine, did nipple stimulation, and so many other things that are purported to get a woman's body to kick labor into high gear. They will anxiously time those pesky Braxton Hicks contractions and perhaps make a trip (or two or three) to the hospital for them hoping to be told they are truly in labor. Dejected they go home and scour the internet for ways to make their body do what it obviously isn't ready for yet.

There are so many things wrong with this mentality.

1. The EDD is an estimate. It is a guess. Even if a woman had an ultrasound, it is still just a guess. The EDD could be off by two weeks. Attempting to have a baby before that magical date could lead to serious complications for the baby. Also, the due date is calculated with the knowledge that only a small number of women deliver on that day. Any time from two weeks before or two weeks after that date is perfectly normal. This is why inductions for 'post dates' or for convenience because babe is considered 'term' are not advisable. Even the ACOG admits this. If there is not a sound medical reason (NO! that doesn't include a baby 'too big', low fluid, or placental calcification, or any number of excuses OBs will offer) an induction is not the right choice.

2. Cervical checks tell you absolutely nothing about how soon babe will come, even if you are in labor. These are utterly pointless and invasive. I repeat: A cervical check to determine dilation or effacement tells you NOTHING of value. It is a tool used by practitioners to cause fear and instill doubt in a woman's mind about her body's ability to birth.

3. Every baby is different. Every woman is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every birth is unique. We are so very prone to fall victim to the desire for 'normalcy'. There really isn't such a thing in birth. Just because your cousin's best friend's sister had her baby at 36 weeks and everything was fine doesn't mean it is a good thing for your baby. Babies come when the time is right. Stress and anxiety can complicate the process and perhaps delay or stop a labor that otherwise would have proceeded normally.

4. Labor does not have a defined beginning that continues uninterrupted until birth. Natural, physiological labor can start and stop. It is a process that can take weeks. A "stalled" labor is quite often just a tired body. Mama needs rest, not to be pushed beyond the limits her body can withstand with drugs or other stimulation. She needs to sleep, or eat, or a massage.

5. Any interference in the birth process carries risks. Even those 'natural' methods. A woman's body, with rare exceptions, knows how and will birth just fine. Messing with this process in any way can have serious consequences. Breaking the water is, IMO, one of the worst interventions that are routinely done even by midwives.

Just wait. Be patient. Your body knows what to do. Stop trying to make things happen and just let them happen. Relax and enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy. They don't last forever and before long you'll be wishing for them again. Trust that God's design is perfect. He planned for everything in creating a woman's body. You are made for this. It took me six births to learn this. I hope that other women are quicker studies than me!