I Don't Want To...

write this post. I really don't.

In less than 30 hours my eldest daughter will be leaving home for three months to attend CMI (Children's Ministry Institute) in Missouri. That should be no big deal, right? Especially considering that we've already sent her off to Zambia, China and Romania. Those times she was coming back. For sure coming back.

This time she could not come back. She could be leaving home forever. She could meet some boy and get married and have a family of her own. Some young, clueless kid could come along and take her away. He will talk of his grand schemes of being a missionary in the deserts of Africa or the jungles of South America and she will be gone. They will go far away to serve God and my child will be gone. She will be a woman in whose life I have no say.

I've no doubt she will choose wisely. She's ever so much more sense than I had at eighteen. Even so, she will no longer be my daughter first. She will be a wife first and foremost and her life would be about him. Then she will have children and be a mother. That I really don't want to think about when I am expecting another baby myself! :P

I know it is unlikely, but possible even probable. I will miss her so much. She has been my daughter. My helper. My friend. My counselor. I'm not ready for the change that will come when she leaves to start a family of her own.

Kyla-girl, I love you. I will miss you. Take care. I know that God has great plans for you. :)