Be Kind to Everyone...

You never know what turmoil their soul may be in.

A man in our church took his life early this week. Such a shock. My first reaction when I heard the news was that is was some sick joke. It could NOT be true! Him? Why? He always seemed so happy. Not that I knew him well, but he was always pleasant. Last night at church I was hoping that it would turn out to be a mistake. It was really someone else. It just could not be true.

I cannot imagine how his wife and kids feel. How awful for them. I have prayed for them almost non-stop since I heard. It was the thought I woke up with. I pray that God will comfort them. I pray that they will seek Him and not turn away. I pray no one tells them something that will only cause more grief.


Suicide. I heard someone say once that suicide is purely selfish. I believe that is generally true, but not always. I have also heard that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in your brain and if left untreated can lead someone to commit suicide. I think that is backward. I think that it is turmoil of the spirit that leads to the physical side of depression. Something goes wrong in the spirit and the body is affected. Proverbs 18:14, "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?"

I know that I was not being selfish in my determination to take my life. I had become convinced that it would be better for my family if I was gone. The devil had worked me over pretty good. I am only here because of God's grace and a wonderful husband.

I know that my spirit is where the problem started. The physical and mental symptoms came later. I dwelt on negative things and it poisoned my soul. But that is another story.

To everyone, be kind, be patient to everyone. You cannot know what they may be dealing with in their spirit. And do not think that the person who is suffering so is weaker than you. The devil is walking 'about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour'. The wicked one knows just where and when to attack. Have compassion.

To the one who the devil is after, tell someone. Your pastor, your spouse, a friend, a stranger. Just tell someone. We in the church are supposed to help each other and 'bear one another's burdens', but we cannot do that if we don't know you have a burden. You are not alone. Someone will understand. Do not suffer and toil under a load you were not meant to bear. Tell someone. Seek counsel and help. KNOW that God does love you and he has a plan. He has given you a life that only you can live. No problem is too big for God. He is the Counselor, the Great Physician, he knows the cure for your problem.

Use the Correct Word, Please!

I was going to wait to post this, but I have seen a few examples recently and it's bugging me so I must get it out.

I have been guilty of some of what I am fixing to rant about. In my defense I was only guilty because everyone else I knew made the same mistakes and no one ever bothered to correct me.

1) misuse of the word "nauseous". People say all the time, "I feel/felt/am nauseous." I certainly hope they don't really feel nauseous. Nauseous means: Causing nausea; sickening. What they mean is, "I feel/felt/am nauseated". Nauseated means: To feel or cause to feel nausea. To feel or cause to feel loathing or disgust. I have even heard medical professionals misuse the terms!

2) using the imaginary word "centrifical" force. Look it up. It does not exist. There is Centrifugal force: Moving or directed away from a center or axis. There is Centripetal force: Moving or directed toward a center or axis. There is no centrifical. I have heard people on science shows do this! *eyeroll*

3) using "irregardless" in place of "regardless". (I've never been guilty of this one! Iritates me to no end!)

4) using "I could care less." when one means "I couldn't care less". That one is pretty self explanatory and I hear it said wrong all the time. (Don't think I've ever done this either)

There are more...I just cannot think of them right now. I'll just add them as I remember them.

Sara's six month check

Sara is not gaining. She has gained only 3.2 oz in about five weeks. Not good. Otherwise she is doing well. She is right on developmentally. She looks healthy and is doing all of the things she should be (sitting up, scooting, grabbing, babbling, etc) she just isn't gaining. She only weighs 12 lbs and 6.4 oz.

I had to take her to the hospital for blood work and a UA. The blood work was quick, but it took all day to get a urine sample! I started out trying to get her to pee in the hat. Well she heard me say 'potty' to the ped and she peed on the way to the toilet. Little stink! :P Then the first bag leaked. The second and third bags got poo in them because Sara did what she never does and pooped in the middle of the day. TWICE! The fourth time I got her to go in the hat. Hallelujah! Hours at the hospital for two teaspoons of pee!

I have never had a problem with a baby gaining weight. I never start solids until about a year. My breastmilk has been enough for 5 other babies (Kyla was formula fed). The hard part is that Sara is NOT interested in eating food. I did get three bites of baby yogurt down her last night and two bites of cereal mixed with juice and yogurt. To do that I had to hold her head and give her fish lips. I also got her to drink two teaspoons of formula with a medicine spoon. I hate having to do that. The ped seems pretty confident that it is just that Sara needs more calories. The blood work and UA were just a double check.

I wouldn't worry if Sara was just small, all my babies have been. She's not just small though. She is at least 4 lbs (a huge difference for a baby) lighter than my next smallest baby was at her age and she was the biggest at birth (8 lbs 14 oz). I am not a big fan of the growth charts, I think they can cause undue stress, but when I see Sara's I cannot help but cringe. She started out at the 75th percentile and is now at the 3rd.

This started at her four month check up when she'd only gained one pound in two months. From four to five months she gained a pound though. I had started taking fenugreek, marshmallow, alfalfa, vitamins, and DHA. I was pumping for awhile and trying to get Sara to nurse longer. I thought things were going well.

I am discouraged. The only words I could read on the scrips for the lab work yesterday was the word 'failure'. That is what I feel like. A big failure. I feel bad for not realizing that she wasn't gaining...

*The blood work came back fine, still waiting on the UA.*

My rambling on pets

Fuzz, our mutt, has this habit of taking care of anyone who is sick. If someone is sick in our house she thinks it is her duty to watch over them. She will follow them wherever they go and will patiently lie by the sick one's side with the resigned air of a martyr going to the stake. Her presence at some one's side has become the litmus test of whether that person is really sick or not and a measure of how sick that person is. If you only have a cold or a headache you aren't sick enough to need her care. You must be really sick.

Her generosity in caring for the sick is wasted on my husband though. He was very sick a few weeks ago and Fuzz was really trying to be of use, but dh kept pushing her away. Poor dog. :P


We also have cats. I never really understood the phrase "the cat and mouse game", until we had Lynx (now gone and missed very much). I saw him with a mouse once. It was still alive. He would catch it and then hold it for a minute and then he would take his paw off of it and pretend to not be watching. The instant the mouse made a run for it he would reach out and snatch it back. I don't understand why Lynx would not just kill the poor thing. It did explain why I was always finding dead mice under furniture and appliances though. He would play with the mice long enough to injure them mortally but the mice would still have enough left to escape and hide only to die from their wounds.

Our current kitties, Myth and Buster (can you tell what my kids like to watch?), are much more humane. They only play with the mice after they are dead. Buster had one this morning that he brought in from outside. As gross as it is to see a cat playing with a dead mouse I am glad to have such a great mouser. We were hard put to it to keep the mice out of the house before Myth and Buster. I will save my mouse trap rant for another time. They both have some funny habits too. Myth loves to tear up anything cardboard. We had a time keeping her out of the Christmas presents! LOL Buster loves tearing up plastic bags, potatoes, and toilet paper.

Lastly, we have two fish. Or rather Kyla has two fish, bettas. I never thought fish had personalities or formed attachments to people. I have learned that they do. We left for a vacation in July 2007 and left Kyla's fish, only one at the time, with a friend. the whole time we were gone he refused to eat. Our friend was so worried that he would die. lol When we brought him home Kyla fed him and he gorged himself. Apparently Tormey is more attached to Kyla than I would have ever thought. Stormy is not as friendly. He is more reclusive.

We have had a few others over the years. Some more dear to us than others. I imagine we will have more as the years go by.

My New Year's Resolution

I know that everyone makes a NYR to lose weight and that most do not follow through, but I find myself in need of such a resolution this year. I never thought I would be. I have never had a problem with my weight. I have always been thin without even trying. I am getting older I suppose. So, my plan is to have a moderate workout schedule and to cut out sugar and yeast.


I think I have put on about 20-25 lbs since Sara was born and I was not that thin to start with. I feel awful. I have nothing in my closet that really fits and I refuse to buy anything that I can fit into right now, it is just too depressing!

I suppose it would be more spiritual to say that I want to lose weight because being overweight is a bad testimony. After all, this body belongs to God and is the 'temple of the Holy Spirit'. I would be lying if I said that that did not figure into my desire to lose weight. It would also be a lie if I did not admit that I don't want to be fat for aesthetic reasons. If I do get victory over my love of sweets and my habit of laziness it will only be through the power of Christ in me. This body of mine does crave the chocolate and it does not like to work. Prayers would be appreciated! :)