Letter to the Young Man Interested In One of My Daughters

I probably should have written this a few years ago, but I suppose I've been in a kind of denial that my girls are growing up and not wanting to acknowledge that any boy would be looking at any of my girls with marriage on his mind. (And if he is pursuing one of my girls it had better be marriage on his mind!)

First, Young Man, know that we do not approve of "dating". If you are ever permitted to go on a date with one of my girls it will be chaperoned. By her dad. :P I'm kidding! One of her sisters or maybe one of her brothers. We would prefer that you come over and hang out with us. If you are still interested after being with our crazy, rowdy family for a whole day and can handle her dad's funny, hilarious sense of humor you might have a shot at winning her affection and hand. We also encourage you to have her spend time with your family. 

Second, you must be responsible. Have a job and a plan about how you will provide for a wife and children. You do not have to be rich or have a college degree. You do have to be willing to work and able to keep a job. If you spend your days playing video games never involved in any physical labor and expect your mother to be your housekeeper don't waste our time. 

Third, respect my daughter. Keep your hands to yourself. There will be plenty of time for physical affection AFTER you marry her. :)

Fourth, know that we believe, and expect, that marriage is a lifetime contract. If there are difficulties you will work through them. It might be worth mentioning that we also don't believe in getting a state marriage license. You will marry our daughter not the state. 

Finally, it is required that your bloodline carry the gene for red hair. I want lots of red headed grand babies! 

Okay, so I'm kidding about the red hair... A little. :)

If you can handle all of that you may speak to her dad. :)