I have been losing a lot of facebook friends lately. Most of them just disappearing from my friend list inexplicably. I could just assume that they are all weeding, as I have done on occasion. But six in one week?! And about 10 in the last month? Two that I know of for sure were upset with me about something I said or posted. I know because they sent me messages before they unfriended me. And most of the lost friends are Christians, which isn't surprising since at least 90% of my friends are!
Anyway, on to the point of this blog. Why don't Christians follow the instructions in Matthew 18 for handling conflicts? They don't in life and most especially don't on facebook or other social networking sites. For those who may be unfamiliar with the instructions in Matthew 18, here they are:
1. If you are having a controversy with a brother then you take it to that person privately. Verse 15
2. If he (or she) won't listen then get one or two other people to go with you to approach the person. Verse 16
3. If he won't hear that then you take it to the church at large. Verse 17
4. If that does no good he is to be treated as a heathen.
I dare say that step one would be sufficient in most cases to bring a resolution. But no one ever does that. Instead they backbite and gossip and ignore the problem and the person. Does that please God? Certainly not.
As for the other steps, if they are ever needed it would have to be over something pretty serious, not just a disagreement about political issues or other life choices (i.e. vaccination, home birthing, smoking, etc). Those other steps should be reserved for a serious doctrinal thing, if the person was slandering someone, stealing, lying, or something overtly sinful.
Another question I have is, why is it that people think that we must all believe certain things? One of the things I was unfriended over was because my husband (using my account) commented on a post by a lady. She had posted something about the Ft. Hood shooter and Muslims in general. My husband replied that even Muslims need Jesus (or something to that effect). The other person unfriended me because I don't care about whether a business says "Merry Christmas" or not, it really makes absolutely no difference to me whatsoever! Are either of those issues worth losing a friendship over? I don't think so, but those ladies obviously do!
What silly frivolous things to end a friendship over! How is that going to play out at the judgement seat of Christ I wonder?!
What really gets me though is the lack of reason. The lack of circumspection. There was no discussion or debate, just an ugly message and a severing of a connection!
And the most recent friend loses I am unable to explain. I've not posted anything lately that I think is especially controversial. But then maybe my political fervor and apparent lack of spirituality are that disturbing!
I am thankful for the real friends I have. The ones who take the time to discuss things and love me even though they think I am completely off my rocker on certain issues.
So I suppose I should not regret those friends who don't want to be my facebook friend anymore, but part of me does. I really like some of those people.
The End! :P
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3 comments:
I have found that the internet allows people a much higher level of anonymity (obviously) which creates a lack of accountability. People will behave much differently over the internet than they would in person, and usually for the worse, because they aren't really accountable for anything they do. The internet has made me lose a lot of faith in people. Integrity is a lost virtue. Indeed, I am guilty of the same.
Megan, Thanks! :)
BD, most of those who have unfriended me I know in real life. They were not just strangers that I never see. That is what gets me. I totally get that the internet is pretty impersonal and that people tend to be harsher than they would be in person. I try not to do that, but I am sure I have been guilty of that myself.
Trina,
I don't agree with you on everything. I vaccinate my son (on a delayed schedule, but still) and could NEVER give birth at home. (not that you're wrong, just that it's not a choice that I would make) Does that mean that I would be so petty as to "unfriend" you? That's silly and juvenile if you ask me. We don't have to agree on everything as long as we agree on what's important!! (Knowing Jesus and having a personal relationship with Him!)
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